


Shadow Me

by YamiYugiPuzzleshipper



Series: From Creation to Chaos [2]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: COMPLICATED Puzzleshipping, DARK!Puzzleshipping - Freeform, DM Yugi, F/M, M/M, Season 0 Yami, Sequel to Behind You, Shadow Game, standalone sequel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2020-04-23 05:59:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 41,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19144963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YamiYugiPuzzleshipper/pseuds/YamiYugiPuzzleshipper
Summary: After the events of Behind You, Yugi is forced to deal with a deadly consequence for invoking magic beyond his control. DARK!PUZZLESHIPPING AU





	1. Chapter I

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Yu-Gi-Oh!  
> Edit/Update Schedule: I'm going to try (again) for bi-weekly updates  
> Chapter Rating: MA (Mature Adult) because Yugi and Yami have some more fun physical exercises together. Yay for lemons!  
> Warning: Same as before; cursing varies from mild to excessive. Season 0 Yami is a bit more unhinged as he was in Behind You.  
> Note: There are various/copious mentions of blood, some graphic images of death, sensual moments and feelings, touches of violence/abuse, slight OOCness but it's due to stress (and it's mostly going to be from Yugi whose going to suffer pretty badly where Yami is involved and choices he makes in order to help Yami), slight touches of depression, possible triggers  
> The canon background for the Millennium Items is twisted SPECTACULARLY for a VERY good reason that will become more apparent in later sequels. The background for Shadow Games and the Shadow Realm will be changed somewhat as well. Character backgrounds will be twisted, though not too much (that may change depending on the direction I go with later installments in the series).

Part I

Chapter I

The dark red eyes glittered and sharpened. The pupils flipped and dilated, becoming nothing more than tiny slits. The smaller boy watched him curiously from the corner of his eye. The sex scene in the movie did not seem to be doing more than frustrating the teen at his side.

Yugi could feel it licking at his insides, begging for attention and ignorance all at once. In the darkness, the boy's eyes seemed to glow. It was almost as if his gaze were absorbing the rainbow of color from the screen in front of them. Every image seemed to be drawn into those gleaming feral irises. The colors reflected there were drained and left swallowed away amidst a sea of crushed rubies littering a deep pool of blood.

"Are you okay?" he finally asked. It came out slightly cheeky, amused, but all laughter died away when the other boy turned his head. Yugi nearly flinched. The red orbs glowed, flaring, and fire danced against heavily distorted black pupils. Cut into slits as they were, it was almost like staring into the eyes of a serpent preparing its fangs for attack.

His voice dipped dangerously, alluring and seductive. "The movie is shit," he purred, voice disdainful and full of hate. "I find it a waste of my time to suffer through it."

Yugi cringed. He had been attempting to get closer to the other boy and now it was clearly backfiring.

A month had passed since he had allowed him to remain in the house as he wanted. He'd convinced him to do so, against the other's wishes. Yami had made it rather clear before then that he had not wanted to remain there. And Yugi had convinced him to do so in order to help him to ease the burden of fear and worry that always claimed him when they were separated.

It had only been about four months since they had met to begin with. And it had only been a week since they had had sex. He had convinced Yami to stay with him after they'd had sex—the one thing Yami had desired from his existence altogether—and Yami had held true to this arrangement. But their first round had exhausted him and left Yami energized enough to nearly leave him behind without a second look. It had been somehow devastating to him, despite knowing that Yami only meant to use him…

It had been a disaster in that Yami had been freaked out by the idea of what he was meant to do. He'd pressured himself into scaring himself. And he'd been unable to properly top their first time, though he'd managed the second.

The biggest problem between them, however, was that speaking to him was like stepping about a landmine. Anything could set the boy off. A single word could make every hair life on the back of his neck and his teeth flash like a dog's in open warning and threat. A single wrong movement might make him strike out.

Yami was lethal. He was a powerhouse. He could crush Yugi's jaw if he so desired. He could rip his throat out. He could beat his skull in if he should get it in his head to do so. He could rip his head off his body.

And if he were not careful, Yugi could trigger an unfavorable response. He had to struggle to navigate the other boy's temperament, his strength, his passions.

It drove him mad. It sent him spiraling. It made his heart lurch and pound. It made his lungs constrict painfully. Trying to convince him to stay the first time had been nearly impossible. But he was finding attempting conversation with him was like trying to block a rabid wolf from sinking its teeth into his skin.

"Okay…so…do you want to watch something else?"

The red-eyed teen curled his lips back, leaning forward so that his breath ghosted over his lips. "What other videos do you have but for porn?" he hissed. He gestured at the screen hatefully, narrowing his eyes into slits. "Your whole  _selection_ has this pathetic pattern of human relations. I wish to watch something that doesn't have something so  _stupid_."

Yugi lowered his eyes to the other boy's lips for a brief second. He let out a soft snarl that rattled the small teen enough to look up again. He nearly shivered in frustration; the temperature of the room dropped. He couldn't tell if it was the boy next to him or simply the air conditioning turning on again. Yami's mood so often made his aura more apparent, pressing upon the air so terribly that it could freeze someone in the same room with him. His power could suffocate and his mood made the temperatures fluctuate at times.

And he had the feeling it was Yami's aura now which upset the temperature now. Yugi had overlooked his temper, he realized. He had overlooked it when Yami had begun to lose his patience with the movie playing in front of them.

"Um… Sure, I mean, not all of them are rated R, Yami," Yugi stated, clearing his throat and licking his lips awkwardly. He swallowed hard. More often than not the red-eyed teen's frustration brought about sexual desires from him. His voice would make Yugi squirm and occasionally he'd think stupidly of seducing him.

But he'd known from the moment they'd met that the distraction was something he couldn't give into. It was dangerous to look away from the other for even a second when he was upset. Yami was likely to lash out and try to tear him open rather than welcome an advance.

It didn't matter that he thrived off Yugi's sexual energy for even the smallest of seconds.

"Let's find something PG-13 or something and—"

"I am not in the mood to do that," Yami snapped, rolling his eyes and turning away. He narrowed his gaze and peered at the screen for a moment or so longer. "I am truly not. I do not understand how you can keep your eyes glued to a screen like this for so long. All it has done is make me want to bash my head in. And now my eyes hurt. Thank you for the experience,  _Yugi_."

He hated it when Yami said his name like that. It was so cruel, full of open hatred and anger. By the gods, why did he have to sneer so  _often_?

But Yugi knew he could never blame him for it. After all that had happened, he could not blame Yami in the slightest for hating him. He had not meant to bring him here with the Puzzle like he had. It had been nothing more than an accident. He had not even known what he was getting into when he had put the artifact together.

His grandpa had given it to him when he was eight and it had taken him just as many years to complete. At sixteen he had barely managed to finish it as it was. At sixteen he had barely managed to finish it as it was. And because he had not made a wish upon completing it—something that his grandpa had always teased him about when he had seen him working on it—the magic had formed something that he had never thought possible.

It had given shape to a creature that was more dangerous than death itself. It had used half of his soul to form a human shell of flesh and blood for a god. A god that hated imprisonment, longed for his death, and wanted nothing more than to bathe in his blood.

"Do you want some aspirin or something?" he asked quietly, frowning. He flinched when Yami glanced at him with a look of disbelief. "O-or not. I mean, aspirin is for headaches. Um…n-never mind."

"You're an idiot," the other boy growled. He settled back into the cushions and glared at the screen. His lashes cast dark hideous shadows over his gaze, making the red as dark as spilled wine.

"So, then…what do want to do?" Yugi finally asked, swallowing hard when the other's head swung around to face him. His eyes glittered with some of the light in his irises, making his skin crawl for a split second. "I mean…do you have anything you want to do?"

Yugi stayed silent for a moment, tilting his head. He watched his jaw work as Yami debated the question. The look in his eyes said h was hardly amused. His jaw's clenched muscles twitching beneath his skin said he was thinking hard. His legs were drawn together, but they did not cross. Yugi took that as a sign that the boy was at least partially open to suggestions. His arms were crossed across his thighs, fingers digging into his knees, and Yugi felt sick.

He'd overlooked the pain Yami was suffering through.

How long had he been doing this?

Yugi had never been that great at body language but he had learned how to read it from interactions with the other boy. He had the sharpest of tongues and the nastiest bit when he got the chance. So Yugi had tried to work on it. He had spent several days after school just researching it. Some of the cues the teen gave, however, were far from what he had found in books. Most of his knowledge had proven to be completely useless.

His eyes normally gave him more answers than questions. His body mismatched so much of what he had read and learned form those textbooks. But his eyes gave him all of the knowledge he needed. He would give him looks of hatred or curiosity or lust or anything that Yami truly cared to show.

It was truly the only way he could read him in the first place.

Now he was trying to search for something he could not find. The red irises were blank with the lack of lighting. The other teen narrowed his eyes faintly, glancing sideways towards the screen. Yugi watched light bounce across his irises, dancing in his whites before disappearing completely.

"I don't want to do anything," he finally growled. He huffed softly and shook his head. "I honestly just don't give a flying fuck towards the idea of spending time with you right now."

Yugi flinched once more, but he still could not blame him. His hatred was warranted. And it was not as if Yami hadn't made his position clear when it came to spending time with him. He had bared his teeth, glaring at him with pure resentment and even straightened his back in open threat. He had not backed off only because he knew for a fact that the other would not hit him. Yami could not risk doing such a thing if only because of the retribution dealt with such an action. He also suspected he had hardly been as nasty as he would have been otherwise.

It had been questionable the first time he'd considered it. He'd thought he'd overlooked Yami's usual ferocity somehow. And yet, to his amazement, he'd found himself soon believing otherwise. He had been right. Yami had not been nearly as vicious as he would have been otherwise.

And it made Yugi wonder if he was sick. It made him fearful at times. And, yet, other times he thought Yami might simply mellowing out with exposure to him. Neither idea had gotten him an answer. The boy had refused to acknowledge both though he knew he could hear them somewhere in his subconscious where it mingled with Yugi's.

"Okay," he finally sighed. He slouched in defeat for a sing moment, then moved to sit up again. He would never make him stick around, though he did have the power to do so by all means.

Yami could easily be controlled. All it took was for Yugi to open his mouth and say the words necessary. But he had never had the strength to do it, to strip another of their free will. And he refused to consciously do it, not unless the situation was so dire it absolutely demanded it. Yugi hoped no such situation ever came up, however.

The boy in front of him was the personification of passion and power and he could never will himself to try to smother something like that. It hurt just entertaining the thought. And even if it passed through his mind for all of a split second it made Yugi feel as if he might vomit.

He had to learn to deal with the power that had been so stupidly placed in his hands like this. He had never known of such a thing before. He had never known of the control he possessed now. And sometimes, when the other boy was particularly vicious, he had the urge to do it.

He was struck with the idea to use his power over him. It was a power that was not truly his. It was a power that was not given with conscious consent. It had been stripped from Yami by force and placed in Yugi's hands.

And that was a mistake because Yugi was aware of the unbalanced mentality that came through him when he so much as thought about it. It lingered constantly. It never left him. Yugi had an obsession with power. He knew that. When he played games, it was not hard for him to overpower others. And in games like Duel Monsters, he used decks so powerful he could win in mere seconds if he so much as tried.

He had a keen sense of obsession with power. He had an addiction to that power.

And he did not know how to kick it.

"So, what do you plan to do then?"

His red eyes gleamed like daggers painted in blood, sharp and cruel like a wolf's teeth. "I am still working to find out what I plan to do as of yet," Yami hissed coldly, getting to his feet. When he dusted himself off, it was with stiff and upset movements. He shot him a furious look after a moment, eyes cutting through his lashes as he curled his lip to show a sharper canine. "Let me be for the next few hours. I want nothing to do with you for the moment."

Yugi opened and closed his mouth, nodding slightly and sighing softly. "Yeah, okay, Yami," he muttered. He closed his eyes and listened to Yami's footfalls as he left the living room.

He heard the creak of the door, listening for the weight to be added to his bed in his room. He ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes tightly. He tugged at the strands for a long minute, shaking his head after a few moments. He could hear Yami's heartbeat somewhere in the back of his mind. It was soft and steady, and did nothing to reassure him in the slightest.

Something had been wrong with the red-eyed god for days now.

He had been anything but oblivious to it. But he had never tried to offer Yami room to approach him later. It was becoming obvious, however. And he knew that the other would never do so. Whether it was stubborn pride or pure resentment, it was clear he never would.

"How about a game of Duel monsters?" he asked three days later. It was his first attempt at the repetitive task of trying to make the other boy endure time with him. They were seated in his room. Yami was leaning against the desk and Yugi was on his bed doing homework while the god sorted through his deck.

His slender fingers halted and his eyes narrowed briefly. He tilted his head and looked at through long black spidery lashes. Both of them stared at each other for a long moment. And then the taller teen fell back against the computer chair with a look of intense boredom.

"What do I get if I win?" came out of his mouth rather than his usual " _No_ ".

Yugi watched him for a long moment, forcing his lips into a small twist of a smile. "I will make you a bargain," he stated. He sat up and watched the other boy tilt his head with growing interest. It was no secret Yami was in love with the aspect of winning and gaining ground.

Yugi had known it almost from the moment they'd crossed paths. And he suspected it was because he felt so lost and trapped in this form. It did not help that Yugi set him off so terribly as it was. He was Yami's biggest threat, after all, and he guessed he could understand that idea now.

He might have still lacked the comprehension of everything that came with it.

But he understood that at the very least.

Yugi had a small grasp of the immensity of the power he held over the boy. He was the one who wore the Puzzle and he knew the boys true name. He had named him, in fact, and he was the only one who knew his name past the initial ease of Yami. But the red-eyed teen was particularly vicious at times and he often felt the pull of his anger in his gut more than ever at times. Due to this, to the burden of knowing that Yami would always need his energy and his life force for the very task of coming to exist more fully, Yugi had made a point of wearing the Puzzle whenever he could. It went to school with him, it came to his friends' with him, it went to the arcade and back to his room.

The Puzzle, he knew, helped to channel the energy Yami needed in order to create himself firmly. He wanted to be able to help Yami mold his energy as he so needed to create his new physical form. So it was no surprise when he found Yami staring at him. And even now he was doing similarly.

"You win and we'll sleep together. I win and you have to answer any question I ask you," he said after a long moment. The other teen's red eyes narrowed into slits and the smaller boy quickly added, " _Truthfully_."

Yami smirked softly and got to his feet. "I was going to say, little game," he murmured quietly. He was leering at him slightly when he took a seat on the carpet. He failed to glance at him in any manner, nor did he so much as seem to do more than take a seat. But the invitation was clear all the same and Yugi smiled as he hurried to take a seat and join him. He felt sick, worry clenching at his insides as realization crept through him. At any moment Yami might retract the deal. There was no telling with him at times…

Slowly but surely the taller male turned his head to look at him. The light hit his face in a way that emphasized the length and darkness of his lashes. It cast long shadows upon his irises and the red danced before his eyes like flames. But the most emotion he could find there was pure cunning.

"Shall we make this more interesting?"

"More interesting?"

"Strip for me," Yami growled, reaching forward and tipping his chin up. Yugi suppressed a shiver; how had his fingers grown so damn cold already? They had failed to have sex in a while, but that shouldn't have caused such a drastic drop in his body heat. Yami should have been several degrees warmer than the temperature of the room around them, but he felt as if it were one and the same at the moment. Yugi almost wanted to crawl into his lap, apologizing and offering himself up, but the thought passed as swiftly as it had come. Yami had begun stroking his jawbone with his thumb, soft and chilling even as Yugi's own skin seemed to burn feverishly. "Every time I hit your life points, strip."

The smaller teen nearly closed his eyes, enticed by the idea as he licked his lips. He wanted more than ever to simply draw him closer and hold him as if to warm him with his own body heat. But he'd suggested the game for a reason. And he could not afford to deter from it now.

Pushing away his desire to please the other boy and thus himself was one of the hardest things he had ever done. His mind buzzed with a new, smaller lace of energy. And his heart skipped as he locked eyes with the other teen once more.

"Next time," he replied softly. Yugi reached up to pull the taller boy's hand away, fingers nestled into his cool palm. Yami tilted his head, but he remained still beyond this. And Yugi was almost shaking when he rubbed his fingertips over the lines of his palm for a long moment. He finally eventually pushed his hand away. "If I have to endure your thoughts about fucking me, I'll never get my answers, Yami."

"Smart little Yugi," he teased with a soft growl, turning to the deck in his hands. He began to separate the cards in half now, drumming his nails over the top of the cardboard slips. Yugi watched the way his fingers danced over the backs of each card, fighting back a purr at the sudden thought that crossed his mind. Yami had long, thin, nimble fingers. And he knew how to use them rather effectively, regardless of how little experience he'd had before then. He shook the idea way and Yami shot him a snicker before placing half of the cards in front of him. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah…" Yugi's head spun for a moment, lit by a million little sparks. His skin was buzzing with energy and he shivered after a moment. That one little suggestion had thrown him overboard and now he was trying to find dry land again. "I am completely ready."

He flushed as Yami snickered, a purr underlining his rich chuckles. "Good. Then let us begin, shall we? State your rules. I do not want to witness any inconsistencies later, Yugi. No surprises."

The smaller shook his head immediately. He would not want to pull a fast one on the other anyways. Yami was liable to break his jaw if he tried, no matter the consequences of his actions. And besides that, Yugi had never entertained the notion of trying to double-cross someone else like he was insinuating. The fact that Yami had bothered with agreement said much, however.

Yami was willing to extend some trust to him, no matter how limited the time frame truly was or the amount which he offered. The point was that he was reaching out. And Yugi had no right to take such a thing and run with it. It was the first time he had ever attempted something and he knew it would never come again should he abuse it.

"Right." Yugi nodded, drawing in a deep breath as he picked up his first five cards. He looked his hand over a moment, struggling to draw his thoughts together. The entire situation had him drowning, spiraling and freefalling, and it was beautiful. But it was toxic all at once as well. "So, how about this? If I get a blow to your life points—no matter how small or how I did it—I want an answer from you. Every time I ask a question, I want a truthful answer and nothing else. And then, if you can beat me completely, we'll have sex again."

Yami drew his own cards, looking them over a moment. Then he narrowed his eyes faintly and peered at him through his long lashes. His lips drew back into something a sneering laugh. "And for each infliction of your life points?" he pressed. He growled softly and raised a brow. "What do I then get, Yugi?"

"I…I won't strip for you," he answered after a moment. He struggled to keep his voice even as he shook his head. He searched his face for a single second. "We wouldn't make it to the end of the duel if I did. I have a feeling you will match me blow for blow. But for each time you inflict damage, I will give you release."

Yami's eyes widened as he stared at him, blinking slowly before growling low in his throat once more. "No matter the amount of damage?" he asked softly, somewhere between disbelieving and curious.

Yugi smiled softly, amused. Yami was double-checking his terms. He was trying to make sure he had heard him right. He was studying him now with narrowed eyes. "No matter the amount of damage," he assured. "If you want, we can shake on it…"

"…Shake on it?"

Again the blue-violet-eyed boy found himself reminded of just how little Yami actually knew. He may have been a god, powerful and dangerous, but he lacked many ideas of what human interaction might mean. He struggled to know and understand the phrases and actions which Yugi displayed. But it got worse in the fact that he refused to watch television for event the smallest social cues. But Yugi often struggled with trying to teach him. Because he himself was unable to properly judge the blank expression which so often painted itself upon the deity's face.

"It's…" Yugi shook his head slowly, closing his eyes tightly. "I give you my word. That…that's what I meant, Yami. I give you my word. I'll…give you release no matter the amount of damage inflicted to my life points."

Yami tilted his head and nodded slowly, eyes narrowing further. "And I give my word that you will have truthful answers to any question you ask—"

"Except if it makes you uncomfortable," he interjected immediately. He swallowed hard as he looked at the small teen. "I do not want you to think you have to tell me things that you would never want to say in the first place. I mean…unless I specifically say that I need the answer, then feel free to pass. And then I'll come up with a new question, okay?"

His red eyes grew a size bigger, making them almost softer in appearance, the sharper design of them dulled for a brief second. Yugi swallowed, licking his lips, and studied him a moment longer. The deity had freedom, but his predicament so often swallowed away what little joy he might have gotten from such knowledge. And so they struggled to even find the most minute sense of balance between them.

It was too often that Yami showed his resentment of him, so apparent in it that it was impossible for even Yugi to remember he was not holding him captive by will. And Yugi so often made an effort to remind him of those things, but it did nothing but further anger the deity. And he knew better than to assume upsetting him was a way to get through to him.

And so they were stuck on a precipice. They struggled and tried to regain ground, then lost it whenever the other made a move that they were not prepared for or did not appreciate. And he so often did that. He'd overstep his boundaries and Yami would become enraged. He'd snarl and snap and fight until Yugi backtracked and was forced finally to give up.

He had few opportunities to remind Yami he was not his slave.

He had few opportunities to remind Yami he was capable of ignoring what Yugi wished of him.

Finally the other boy blinked, then lowered his head. "Very well." For a moment Yami stared at him, red eyes the smallest degree suspicious. His pupils had grown somewhat blown, as if the idea had caused a rush of adrenaline to surge through him. His eyes abruptly lowered and his mouth twitched for a moment before he drew in a deep breath and, in a voice that Yugi thought almost silent, whispered, "Thank you."

"You're not my prisoner," Yugi said quietly, reminding him. He hoped it was gentler than he felt it was. And he felt sick for a moment as he stared down at his cards pointedly. His heart was in his throat and he felt as if he were burning, his skin itching and his stomach rolling.

How could he say that when his mind still circulated so constantly back to the power he had accidentally come to acquire over him? He hated himself more often than not due to this. And he could not help but understand where Yami's impatience and frustration came from. He felt sickened at times, as if he were a strange trying to reacquaint himself and failing to do so. He felt as if he might be destroyed just as Yami did at times like those.

He shook away the thought, forcing himself to breathe in deeply, and put Curse of Dragon on the field. He hesitated, peering at his cards a moment longer, and then placed three of them face down.

"Look like you're pleasuring me earlier than expected," the red-eyed teen snickered in turn. Yugi blinked, surprised when the other winked at him playfully. Gaia the Fierce Knight was put there on the carpet between them and he wagged his eyebrows around curling his tongue against the back of his teeth.

Yugi burst out laughing at the expression. "Okay, okay, give me a second," he guffawed. He shook his head, feeling warm for a moment. He wiped one of his hands on his jeans and pulled his phone from his pocket, unlocking it and pulling up the calculator. It was easier to do it this way than try to keep up in his head, though he could have if it wasn't for the lewd expression Yami was watching him with. "Two thousand life points to begin with—I have seventeen hundred. Good, okay. I just had to make sure I had some kind of idea of a score system."

Yami nodded lazily, then moved to lean back on his hands. At first Yugi wondered if it was for him, laughing at the thought, but the other boy made no move to confirm or deny the thought. He rolled his eyes and moved his card off the field, placing the other card in his hand aside.

He was met with a lazy purr when he moved around their cards to press against him lightly. The sound reverberated deep in his lungs, dancing through the air and making Yugi tremble with desire. For a moment he could do nothing but stare at the other boy, studying the shade of red that made the outer ring of his irises. They had brightened, somewhere between arousal and excitement, and he had the smallest moment in which he wished he could somehow burrow into him.

He wished again that somehow he could share his body temperature with him, that he could close his eyes and sink into him. He wished he truly was made of the same sinew and muscle and bloodstream as the other boy…

He moved his arm, wrapping it around Yami's shoulders, and pressed his lips against his for a moment. He shifted closer and the taller teen purred into his mouth. Yugi laughed into his mouth for a split second, for a moment dizzy and anxious despite his amusement at his apparent arousal. He reached down to lazily thumb his hipbone beneath his waistband.

The purring stopped in an instant. Yami snarled now, his spark of arousal so violent it made Yugi's head spin for a long moment. He pulled away from his mouth, lowering his lips to his neck and breathing in hard. Yami smelled of pine and ice and moonlight through tree branches. His pulse began to thrum, a low and steady vibration against his lips, but his skin remained cold enough that Yugi had to suppress a shiver at the feel of it. The god was so cold it reminded him of their first meeting.

His heart hurt.

His other hand reached up to slip into his hair, pulling the soft locks gently. Yami growled quietly, letting him move his head back enough to expose the underside of his jaw. Yugi kissed along it for a moment, trailing over to his ear.

"Yami…"

He couldn't properly gauge his reaction for a moment. Yami had to tip his head the smallest degree towards him for their eyes to lock. And the red gaze had narrowed, becoming calculating and cold, and Yugi studied them for a moment before breathing gently against his neck again.

Already he could feel heat settling beneath his skin, burning its way through his veins. And he felt his heart thump painfully in his throat. It felt as if he were sizzling, a sensation that Yugi had grown accustomed to formerly but felt lost with now. And for a moment he almost thought to beg Yami to run his fingers over his skin, to mold them together as one again. He'd have given anything to get rid of the feeling.

It reminded him too much of loneliness, of how desperate and unaware he had been when Yami was apart from him. And it was almost enough to make him panic for the smallest of seconds, lungs constricting in his throat and eyes squeezing shut.

He had a game to win, he reminded himself. And this was merely the god's prize for trumping him this first round. Yugi was not about to let this go too far, nor to stray into the direction he was picturing at the moment. He was not about to move too quickly either, however. If he did so, Yami gained nothing.

And it was not as if it was Yugi who needed the energy to form his body or to heal himself from past mistakes. Moving slowly would ensure that Yami was at least  _mildly_ satisfied for a few minutes.

He deserved that, at the very least.

He deserved it just for putting up with him when they fought.

Yugi fought away his own impulse. It would have been easier to simply undo his own jeans and work himself into a frenzy for Yami. It was easier to simply pleasure himself than it was to do so the deity. But he snaked his hand back beneath Yami's waistband regardless. And the deity growled softly, responding more—Yugi knew—to the uncomfortable sensation of heat introducing itself to his cold skin. It stung. The smaller teen could feel it, almost as if he'd struck a match and let his finger linger a second too long.

Yami breathed unevenly for a moment, then exhaled gently into his ear. The tension left his shoulders. And Yugi felt him shift his weight to angle his hips upwards. The smaller teen licked his lips again, then worked his wrist further beneath the god's boxers, his fingers running along the skin of his pelvis for a moment. And then Yami snarled again, trembling as if he were forcing the noise from every fiber of his being.

And Yugi knew why he'd grown so still.

He'd assumed Yugi would move prematurely, that he'd forgotten what had happened the last time he'd done so. But he hadn't forgotten in the slightest. Not only had he seen stars when Yami had struck him so violently, but he'd felt his panic and his horror, the way he'd shuddered with fear for a brief moment.

Their bodies were not created equally, Yugi had found. Yami harbored a relatively powerful weakness, something that Yugi had not considered before.

His nerve endings were frail, sensitive, and he was weak to Yugi's touch when it was introduced too quickly. If Yugi did not allow him the chance to acclimate before he truly touched him, Yami would lash out as violently as he could. And Yugi could not blame him for it in the slightest. If he felt so abruptly as if he had stuck his hand in the midst of an inferno he'd have done the same.

And it was horrifying to consider that Yami constantly felt this way. He felt no better at any given time, but for when he was asleep beside him. And even then Yugi knew he was still somewhat fearful because his brows would knit together at times. He'd twitch at others, and every now and then he'd growl so softly Yugi almost could not hear it. But the quieter the other boy was, the more likely he was to lash out.

Yami may have been able to slip his hand down Yugi's pant when they were not so willing to spend time together, but the same could not be said for the smaller teen. The problem was that Yami's skin was far too sensitive and his nerves too easily damaged. And this caused him to forget that he suffered the same pain he inflicted upon Yugi. He lashed out before he could rethink the decision, his instincts and reflexes too fast to stop.

More than once Yami had proven himself incapable of being around him for too long any amount of time. He would get up out of bed and lay on the floor, sleeping there with nothing but a pillow—if Yugi offered it to him when he was awake long enough to grasp what was happening. He would sleep until Yugi would get up for school.

And Yugi was at a loss as to how to fix it. Even mild exposure to each other was doing nothing for him. It had worked at first as a small balm to the pain that their existence caused each other. But now it only seemed to make things worse.

Yugi continued stroking his skin until some of the tension loosed from Yami's tensions. The muscles in his neck relaxed a moment or so later and Yugi was relieved to no longer feel them straining beneath his skin at his touch. He pressed his palm flat against his skin, a warm presence that he could feel rapidly cooling against his skin, allowing Yami to become more comfortable with its presence as the seconds passed.

Had Yami been someone else, he was sure that he would have retained some kind of body heat in that area. But it hardly seemed true of him. And Yugi had come to the realization that he himself did not quite recover as quickly from exposure to him as he should have. His flesh would cool and remain that way even when he pulled away entirely.

His body temperature only truly seemed to change when and while they had sex. Afterwards it seemed that his own body heat could maintain Yami's for at least a handful of hours. But it would steadily drop away the more time passed without them touching. The first two days after they'd had sex, Yami had actually retained his body heat. And then it had plummeted seemingly overnight.

Despite sleeping together, despite sharing the same bed, Yami had become cold again.

Yugi had thought in the time that Yami wound up wrapped around him in his sleep that perhaps it might work again. He had been overjoyed at first with the results when he'd first become aware of it. He had been desperate for him to gain more body heat. He'd been relieved and satisfied when it happened.

He was scared, in all reality, that the lack of body heat might somehow become so deep as to kill the red-eyed boy. And it scared him so much that Yugi sometimes had to reassure himself that Yami's heart was still there, beating in his chest. He'd lay his head on his chest and close his eyes, counting the seconds between beats and simply mouth the number.

There had been too many times that he woke to Yami statuesque, with stunted breathing so soft he could not quite recall it. It was impossible to see the movements in the darkness, even amidst the drizzles of moonlight from the skylight. And Yugi would untangle himself from Yami just enough to be able to put his ear to his chest. Sometimes he could hear Yami rasp. And others the god seemed to whistle…

Yugi pulled his fingers from the god's scalp, trailing them lightly down the nape of his neck and across the knobs of his spine to settle where his shoulder blades ended. Yami shuddered beneath the touch, almost as if he were cold. But the moment passed. And, as Yugi lowered his hand towards his erection, the god seemed mostly calm.

Yugi hesitated for a long handful of seconds, checking his face for approval. Yami still seemed receptive enough, and so Yugi forced himself to relax if only slightly. But it was hard not to fear that his own thoughts had passed into the other's mind. It was not hard. It happened as often as breathing between the two of them. Yami heard his thoughts anywhere he was, regardless of whether Yugi tried to focus on him or not. And if he was not careful when he tried to think something about the other boy, Yami was alert and aware of it before it had even finished filtering through his mind.

But there was no reason for Yami to know about this. He did not need to know about how fearful Yugi was of his health. He didn't need to feel as if Yugi were yet again shortening the length of the leash he kept him on. He had so much difficulty already, just in accepting that Yugi was trying to give him room and consider his feelings before he did his own.

Yami would react worse than Yugi knew how to deal with. He knew that without question. He didn't have to stop and reconsider that at all. He knew it all too well. When it came down to it, Yami could be so volatile that Yugi often feared even breathing the wrong way. And why would he add to his miseries? Yami already struggled with the very task of breathing regularly. And to bring it to light would only make Yami react worse to his presence altogether, he knew.

Sometimes, during the night, when Yugi woke up to check on him, he would find himself even more fearful than he had begun. Sometimes when he laid his head on Yami's chest to listen, it did not rise as it was meant to. When Yami might exhale, there was a raspy quality. And inhale made no move but for a partial rise. He would pause as if to hold his breath, and then slowly he would resume drawing in air.

It was not even only that Yami was still solidifying his ties to the world by means of creation of his body. It was the statement that the deity had made months before. When Yugi had asked him if he'd ever hallucinated, Yami had told him that his lungs had not originally functioned properly. He had thought immortality was a lie, that somehow he was dying despite himself and all his power; that the state of being he was meant to exist in had failed him. He had figured out what it was that he needed to do in order to sustain himself.

But that did not stop Yugi from constantly fearing the worst. And he always worried that Yami might somehow forget the ability altogether and thus somehow pass in his sleep.

It was not the thought that Yami dying might kill as well that scared him so much. It was just the fact that it could happen. It made Yugi break into a cold sweat at night sometimes. And, every once in a while, his palms were clammy as he reached out to touch Yami. He couldn't help himself, somewhere between fear and nervousness. He couldn't stop himself.

He wanted to bite his tongue off at times. He could not imagine how terrible a fate it would be for the other boy if he were to pass somehow while unconscious and resting. The thought often made Yugi want to vomit.

Yugi shook the thought away, suppressing the violent shudder that tried to start in his shoulders. He pressed a kiss to the deity's collarbone and breathed in deeply against his skin. Whether Yami chose to properly believe in his immortality any longer or not, Yugi was unsure of which way he himself leaned on such a subject.

It was something he debated constantly. It frustrated Yugi to no end. If Yami's body was still  _creating itself_ , how was he meant to believe that the other boy was truly a god, let alone immortal? It was frustrating to consider and that alone made him want to seethe. Immortality seemed weak to the inability to do something so simple as breathe properly. But he couldn't blame Yami for that in the slightest.

_He_ had done this to the red-eyed teen after all. It was his fault that Yami was there to begin with. He'd spent eight years on a puzzle he should never have put his hands on. And he'd failed to make a wish on it as he perhaps should have. And so that magic had drawn Yami from what Yugi and his grandpa— _and_ Yami as well—considered the Shadow Realm. But the Shadow Realm was not supposed to be real.

Or at least Yugi had never considered it as such until recently. When he'd been growing up, his grandfather had teased him that if he misbehaved he would wind up there. He'd told him stories of how anyone to end up there lost any semblance of who they once were and that the darkness there tore apart every fiber of their existence.

He had grown up scared of so much as stealing a cookie without confessing later in the day. And he'd only shaken such a fear when he was around fourteen, two years shy of his age now. He'd been frustrated, had decided he no longer believed in it, and called it a day with anything to do with it. He'd still listened when his grandpa would mention something like a Shadow Game—those kept his interest—but the other aspects of it made him want to roll his eyes. Yugi had convinced himself that there was no such thing a while back, though he still found the idea of it somewhat interesting and entertaining to hear about.

But now he wondered.

Because Yami had shown up after the Puzzle was completed. And he'd seen the violent reaction the artifact had to him when he'd touched it. He'd always smelled burned flesh before then when Yami had touched it.

Yugi could not fully force away his shudder this time. He swallowed hard and bit his lip, exhaling deeply against Yami's skin. His hand crept further along the skin of the deity's pelvis, fingers pointed downward with clear intent. And Yugi paused now, considering Yami's reaction to such a touch.

His body was drawn tight with tension, his breathing coming in a sharp huff. Yugi could have mistaken it for impatience had he not known better. Yami, however, had grown incredibly still. And his breathing had grown the smallest inkling faster, shallow with something like fear or anger. Yami was not okay.

Something was definitely wrong with him.

"Yami?"

He didn't speak too loudly, somewhere between fear and uncertainty. He did not want to speak to him too loudly. He did not want to startle him if he was lost in thought. He did not want to scare him if he had heard Yugi's thoughts and were considering them in turn. Yugi felt his mouth grow dry for a moment.

Yami was silent for a long handful of seconds. He did not seem to move, nor even to breathe, for a split second. Yugi had to count in his head to keep from pulling away and visibly checking on him. He did not want Yami to respond negatively to him should he have to do such a thing—

"Keep going," Yami answered after a moment, almost dismissive in tone. He sounded faraway, almost as if he were resurfacing from a million different thoughts Yugi himself could never imagine. "I won this round."

Yugi almost hesitated. Horror surged through him, deep and swelling, and a sense of clarity drifted through him. Yami was not adapting fully to his temperature. He was not recovering. And if Yugi moved too quickly, he could possibly destroy Yami's nerve endings. But if he stopped, he risked Yami's fury.

Between the two of them, lesser evil was by far that of his anger.

It was not even a question.

But he knew well enough that Yami would be resentful of either choice.

Hurting Yami made Yugi want to vomit. He did not know if the deity could ever truly recover from it. His body heat was always so lacking. And he feared going through with pleasuring him more than ever now. It seemed so easy that he might hurt him beyond repair. And the deity might simply turn around and blame it on him entirely, sneering at him that he was capable of stopping at any time he would have liked.

And Yugi paused, wondering for a moment if Yami did not notice his hesitation or if he was simply ignoring it. His red eyes were darker, glazed over with a faraway look, and his pupils were slightly dilated.

If not for the fact that he was offering what he knew Yami desired above all else, Yugi might have thought he was attempting seduction of an unwilling partner. And the thought was enough to chill his skin.

But had Yami not just told him to continue?

Yugi shuddered faintly, but he could not stop himself from crying out. Yami had grabbed his hand, forcing it further down his pants. And the feeling of his cold skin against his made Yugi fight back a violent flinch. His stomach churned, anxiety crashing through him. He frowned, then wrapped his hand around his erection as Yami was coaxing him to do.

His stomach twitched once more and he swallowed hard. Yami did not look happy in the slightest. His expression, in fact, was a mixture of frustration and pain. Yugi drew in a deep breath, licking his lips and studying him for a moment.

"Don't…don't do that again," he mumbled pathetically. He bit his tongue to keep from saying that Yami needed to learn patience and not rush such a thing for the sake of saving himself such pain.

But to do so would alienate him. It would alienate Yami altogether. And, to do so would cause the deity no small amount of discomfort and hatred. He knew more than ever that Yami would simply grow worse, stewing in his anger and eventually pushing him to simply lash out. He would strike out against Yugi in mere seconds if he so felt threatened. And he knew that Yami would feel such the moment it should happen that he opened his mouth.

Yugi squeezed softly, a slow and easy touch that the other teen nodded at slightly. He met Yami's eyes for a moment, studying him; testing the waters was the most Yugi could possibly do without risk of hurting the other boy.

Yami had the ability to ride upon impulse, but the liberty was not shared with Yugi.

Yugi leaned forward a little further, balancing more pointedly on his knees and moving to straddle him more fully. It was somehow shocking to him that Yami had not gone flaccid beneath his touch.

He himself had often felt his mood turn elsewhere when Yami touched him with hands that were too cold. And sometimes he had to wonder if Yami's frayed nerve endings perceived far more than his own did in their fully developed form.

Sometimes Yugi truly expected to find that some touch had rendered Yami numb, incapable. He worried that the damage was irreversible, like third degree burns, the nerves shot and frayed. How Yami could manage that if it was possible and still bring himself to be around him was another question that the small teen doubted he ever wished to have the answer to.

And yet he knew it already, as horrifying as it was.

Survival drove Yami.

Yami would do anything it took in order to ensure his own survival. He had proven such multiple times; the very fact that he remained near Yugi was a testament in itself. Yami would have risked death if he had not come to be around him more often than he was comfortable. But he was  _driven_ to survive and his hatred for Yugi could be quelled if only mildly by that need to exist.

So he remained there. And he struggled so often.

And he fought Yugi tooth and nail every few seconds.

When emotion was showed him, he sneered at its existence.

Yugi blinked. But he still pumped his hand slowly, breathing in deeply.

But Yami's body was too tightly drawn to gain pleasure from the sensation. And he was almost ready to snarl at him to simply cease such actions. But the idea of exposing the melancholy biting at his insides made him reluctant. And he swallowed hard at the very thought. To do so meant that Yugi would know his weakness. And that was something he could not allow.

He would get his release.

But whether it did anything for him was another thing entirely. That was a question he did not know the answer to yet.

Yami leaned forward, nearly bracing himself against Yugi's shoulder, and pressed his mouth into the hollow of his neck. Yugi frozen beneath his touch, clearly startled. His other hand caught on his shoulder, squeezing once, but he did nothing more than wait. Making contact with him, skin against skin, holding him as he was, did nothing for him. He did not gain access to his thoughts, nor the reason he seemed to remain flinching so often before him now.

And this would have to be added to the various problems he was suffering now.

Yami nibbled at the soft skin, ignoring the heat there. The difference in temperature made him feel as if his skin might melt beneath his touch. A snarl built in his chest, his bones aching, as he focused on the heavy pulse of Yugi's artery against his lips there. He closed his eyes tightly. He knew that Yugi would glance up at his face in a moment. He knew it all too well…

He would look to him for reassurance, for guidance…

And so feigning pleasure was by far easier than exposing his mounting weakness.

The moment passed quickly. And neither of them could pinpoint how or when it came to fade away. Yugi was trying to resist the urge to whimper or flinch as Yami's teeth picked at his skin. The touch was gentle, but Yugi felt as if his canines grazed the surface softly with the desire to sink straight through his flesh.

But his hand was somewhat—some _how_ —sticky. It was a miniscule touch of what he knew to be much greater in quantity before. His immediate thought was that it had to be pre-cum. But then he realized, startled, that Yami had stopped moving. And, when he continued his movements, Yami snarled quietly as if he wished for nothing more than to lash out at him.

Yugi released him, startled by the sound as it burned in his ears. He blinked once, then twice, and slowly removed his hand. He swallowed hard as the reality of it set in. but neither of them mentioned how weak the sensation was, nor how it failed to last even a second. Instead Yami shrugged and Yugi got to his feet. He felt sick as he looked at his hand and then to the deity and away again.

"Give me a second," he mumbled, wandering off in the direction of the bathroom adjacent his room.

Yami watched him go, but made no noise to acknowledge his statement. Instead he narrowed his eyes, swinging around to look at the cards in front of him. For a moment the print seemed almost to blur before his gaze. His line of vision was dizzy at the edges, swelling and dancing with ripples of darkness abound the corners.

Then, abruptly, it cleared again.

Yami growled low in his throat. His chest felt as if it were restricting, his lungs aching softly. And, slowly, the deity reached out to grab at the deck beside him.

He struggled to focus, eyes narrowing further until he could see almost nothing through his lashes any longer. His mind grew blank, blackened almost, and he fought away frustration and mounting hatred. He felt sick and dizzy for a moment, though the feeling of his throat burning with pain seemed to calm somewhat. And slowly it all began to clear.

In the center of his skull something seemed to flare brightly, the pain growing and dangerous and swelling beneath his skin. It flashed so terribly that his eyes burned with the effort and he hissed out a disturbed, frustrated breath. Then, as if seeping upwards from the depths of a darkened sea, the picture began to form.

It was a mammoth of bones, pure skeleton, charging forward, caught in print on paper.

Yami pulled his hand away slowly, feeling rather detached from the sensation. His limb felt as if it were not his own, as if it were numb to his control. His fingers felt colder, frozen almost, as if his body were caught by ice and imprisoned there.

He blinked slowly, red eyes falling upon his nails as if something might be wrong with them visibly. There was nothing there, he knew, but it made him drop his hand to his lap. And he was almost horrified to realize he was unable to feel even the fabric of his jeans for a split second.

"You okay?"

"If I wasn't I would not be here."'

The answer was spoken in such a low, cold tone that Yugi nearly flinched. But, instead, horrified and somehow fascinated at the same time, he wandered past him to take his seat again. He had just watched him stare at his hand as if it were the limp limb of a discarded puppet. He had not even seemed to recognize it as his own. And his eyes had seemed so strangely glassy, clearing abruptly only seconds before Yugi had spoken. He could not shake the horror which formed a pit within his stomach. He could not stop himself wondering at it all childishly now, eyes flickering about Yami's face for a moment.

"You should zip your pants."

"If you win, I might consider it."

Yugi snorted, unable to stop himself. The banter was effective and warm in his gut and he smiled lopsidedly, shaking his head. He reached over to draw a new card, his worry momentarily forgotten though it still lurked in the recesses of his mind. He could not bring it up to the other, however. Yami's wrath would be the next to be inflicted should he make such a misstep.

"All right, so it looks like you have to answer my question," he announced. He grinned wider, winking playfully at the other boy. Yami tilted his head to the side as Yugi placed the card down with a triumphant gleam in his eyes. He wrinkled his nose, raising a brow, and then discarded Gaia.

"Very well. Ask your question."

Yugi began to open his mouth but then silenced himself. Yami was staring at him lazily now, waiting for him to speak. He saw only pure cunning in those predatory eyes, red gaze burning into his with something like mocking laughter at the edges. Yugi's stomach twisted painfully, his throat feeling tight and constricted.

"You…you won't tell me what I want to know…will you?"

"I gave agreement to do so, just as you said that I could omit should I so wish it." Yami's eyes narrowed into slits now and his lip curled, a snarl beginning to come over his countenance for a brief moment. When he exhaled once more, he blinked his eyes open further and tilted his head. "Have these terms changed?"

"No…but I don't like the look in your eyes, Yami."

"Yes, well, allow me to pretend to give a shit," he drawled. His lips drew into a wide smirk and his eyes lost their narrowed status, boring into his as he leaned forward a little closer. His expression had grown keener, sharp and dangerous. "Why don't you go ahead and ask your question and then we'll see what will happen?"

Yugi frowned for a long moment, studying him. Something about his expression now seemed daunting and perhaps mildly confusing, insulting in some way. He suppressed a shiver and his stomach lurched as dizziness swamped him for the smallest of moments. "What did you agree to?" he finally mumbled. He blinked at him, swallowing hard as he pressed into a more direct confrontation.

And he did not know in the slightest if this was something he might be able to handle.

The other boy blinked slowly. The question had clearly startled him and he furrowed his brows as he stared back at him. "Is that your question?" he finally returned, confused as he tilted his head to the side. He sounded halting in the way he spoke and his red eyes were mystified.

"No—we're going over the rules again."

"Again?"

" _Again_."

Yami blinked once slowly. He peered at him as if he could not understand what it was that he meant to truly say to him. And then, slowly, he straightened his back. A momentary burst of hatred made his eyes brighter, his pupils seeming to flicker and darken impossibly. Yugi felt haunted looking into them, his reflection there as if against a blackened mirror, and the ventablack color seemed to twist and pulsate outward. "You made me agree to answer your questions truthfully unless I feel the need to omit." Yami fell silent for a long moment. When Yugi merely searched his face, wondering if he understood the truth of the words, the deity barked, " _Speak, damn you_!"

Yugi flinched beneath the power of the statement, feeling almost compelled to cower away. His blood was pounding in his ears. His heart trembled in his throat. He swallowed heavily. His lungs constricted. The sensation was alien, bordering on unholy. And he nearly shook, pain coursing through him.

"Y-you said…t-that you don't remember all of what happened completely when the Puzzle brought you here, right?" Yugi mumbled. He lowered his eyes to just beneath the other's gaze. The oppressive aura in the room pushed on him harder than ever. And it was impossible now to raise his eyes. But he could detect the nod he was given in response. "Do you remember…anything else now or is it all still a blank?"

Yami remained silent a moment. It was not hesitation which held his tongue, but a growing bewilderment at such a topic. He had never truly considered that Yugi might be curious about such a thing. And now his mind derailed from a multitude of thoughts he had been formerly chasing. Now they scattered and he blinked slowly, narrowing his eyes as he considered.

His lips drew down into a frown. And for a moment he considered how it was that he was meant to answer. There were many things that sprang to mind first. Most of them were nasty, derogatory. But it was clear that he had already pressed too much of his will onto the blue-violet-eyed boy as it was.

Demeaning him was nothing necessary.

"There…are bits and pieces." He paused, his tongue pressing into the roof his mouth. He considered the words for a moment, trying to puzzle together what it was that he meant to say. And then he ducked his head, locking eyes with the other boy.

The immediate effect was that Yugi's gaze grew wide and startled. He looked as if he might leap to his feet and flee at any moment. His body was unnaturally tense, still and perhaps faintly skittish. The deity did nothing to ease the boy's fear, however, and straightened some to fight away a smirk.

Yugi was unable to look away, he realized. He was frozen, staring at him. As Yami had expected, the human boy could not so much as turn away. He could not so much as get up on his own at the moment. He had no longer pressed his will upon him, but Yugi was caught in a place between shock and enchantment. He was showing exactly the normal sight of a mortal before a deity…

"I am still remembering things. Some of it is nothing more than a black hole in my consciousness. As far as I am aware, the Puzzle was— _perhaps_?—mine at one point or another." He tilted his head and Yugi seemed to lose some of his tension, relaxing now. He was not as statuesque now, shifting his weight and studying him. He blinked bright blue-violet eyes, but the fear was still there and Yami nearly snickered in amusement. "Something must have happened and I found myself in the Shadow Realm. When you began to piece the Puzzle together, it started to pull me out. You finished the Puzzle, and now I am here."

Yugi opened his mouth to continue. His shoulders rose slightly as if he was suppressing a shiver, and he looked friendly and amused. The room was no long as cold and Yami could see that he was comfortable now.

And that he'd forgotten their agreement.

He raised a brow cynically.

And Yugi closed his mouth again, frowning at him as if in puzzlement.

"I believe it was one question and answer," Yami said slowly, voice mildly mocking, "and then it became my turn,  _yes_?"

"Huh?" Yugi muttered, sounding almost flustered for a moment. And the smallest hint of color dusted his cheeks before he sighed softly and nodded. "Right, yeah, it's your turn, sorry."

Yami smirked at him. Frustration continued to thrum beneath his skin. His eyes narrowed and he almost forgot himself for a brief moment. Then he halted, realization coming through him. He drew a card, unsurprised by the Mammoth Graveyard monster he'd drawn. He looked down at the other five he had put aside, drawing them up and considering, and then replaced them face down on the carpet once more.

"It is your turn again," he answered after a moment. Lazily he blinked at Yugi, studying his slight frown, and tilted his head the smallest degree. "Ask your next question. I do not have any cards to remove yours."

In fact, now that he considered it, should he remember correctly, Yugi had only two or three as strong as or stronger than the monster on the field now. There was the magician in black, with the purple—or  _pink_?—markings in their clothing. There was the magician in purple, though Yami had torn it in half formerly and Yugi had heartbrokenly taped it together with a shaky smile and reassurance to him. And then there was the demon made of bones, with huge claws and wings like leathery membrane…

Those three, if he remembered right, were Yugi's strongest cards.

"Oh…okay." Yugi sat up a little straighter. He seemed somewhat pleased, Yami noted. But he also saw him falter for a brief moment, looking down at the card in front of him. He grimaced, shaking his head. "I'll remove him after this turn. I don't think it's fair for a card to stay on the field more than two turns when it's pretty obvious he's one of my stronger."

"Is he?" Yami muttered, narrowing his eyes curiously. He looked down at the card, at the demon of purple decayed muscle against a body of pure white skeleton. "Yes, I suppose Summoned Skull would be one of the strongest."

"Yeah…I…" Yugi opened his mouth once, then twice, and slowly closed it entirely. He did not seem as if he knew what he might say, but the deity hardly cared. And Yugi seemed to realize this as well. His eyes grew slightly wider as realization crept through him now.

He did not have the time to risk wasting on picking his words carefully. Yami might grow bored at any moment. He might get up at any second and wander off on his own again. There was nothing Yugi could do to keep him there should he decide to do so.

How often was it that Yami had done that already? Yugi had lost count. And it was not always as if Yami seemed to do so deliberately. At times he would seemingly forget that they were in the midst of doing something. He would abruptly get up and escape before Yugi could even acknowledge the fact he might be leaving. The deity moved too quickly. He was too stealthy. And he always had to struggle to understand when it was that Yami was or wasn't in the room with him.

"What did you do to Ushio?"

Yami blinked wide eyes, freezing in place. He looked confused, startled by the mere question. His head tilted, his pupils becoming mere pinpricks. The edges of them bled into his irises, the colors swirling together as if they were two pools of paints that had merged unevenly together. His mouth opened from one side at first, as if he were trying to remember how to move muscles that he no longer remembered owning.

Then his lips twisted backwards, showing his teeth in a snarl. But the anger died abruptly and he seemed more confused than anything. Yugi could not understand if he was frustrated or if he were simply too startled to answer him for a moment. And the deity made it hard to guess which might be more likely an explanation.

"You saw the newspaper."

It was as if it were the only thing Yami might think to say. The deity abruptly reached for the next card, as if to draw it into his hand. And Yugi let out a sharp disgruntled noise. The sound made Yami pause, eyes flicking up from beneath his lashes to peer at him in puzzlement.

Yes, he'd seen the newspaper article. He'd seen the report on the news as well. He'd watched as the woman had struggled to fully report on the matter. The reporter had struggled to even so much as speak properly throughout, horrified by the sheer brutality of the kill in and of itself.

Yami had pulled Ushio's arms from their sockets. He'd stomped on his chest so hard that he'd pulverized his ribs to dust. His organs had been almost nothing but paste by then. And his skull had been stomped into near nonexistence, a splattering of red blood and gray-pink brain matter.

Yugi had not gotten this information from the article or the video. Instead he'd gathered it from the various nightmares he'd had since finding out. Close proximity to Yami had caused him to see things that he did not recall for himself. And he'd dreamed of Yami attacking Ushio more often not…

"Damn it, Yami—"

"What? You said it yourself," the deity snarled, voice low and angry. Then he drew in a deep breath, snickering as his lips drew into a sneer. "You said that you could only stop me if you were around when I attacked. And technically, even  _then_ you said you could only  _try_ to stop me. You were not there. You could not try. I killed him."

Yugi opened his mouth to snap at him, but the air rushed from his lungs abruptly. His chest ached and he swallowed hard as he considered him for a moment. Yami was staring at him through his lashes. His expression was cold and dark. His body had drawn itself tighter together.

His shoulders had risen. His lips were pulled back to show his teeth. And Yugi swore he thought he could  _feel_ the snarl threatening to build in Yami's chest. The small teen looked away after a moment, closing his eyes for a moment.

And then the room's temperature gradually became the smallest degree warmer.

"We can still use spell cards, yes?" Yami asked suddenly, curiously. He had a card in his hand when Yugi opened his eyes to look at him in bewilderment. "Or trap?"

"Huh? Oh… I guess I thought you would already know about them," Yugi replied with a small tilt of his head. Alarms went off in his head, screeching, and his stomach lurched for a brief moment. He blinked in bewilderment. "I mean, you always hear my thoughts, so I thought…"

"No, I thought I would give you privacy this time," the red-eyed boy sneered with a roll of his eyes. He narrowed his eyes and glanced at him coldly. "You are not so terribly amazing that I must have my mind merged with yours at all times, Yugi. Even I grow rather bored of it all."

Yugi opened his mouth to answer, but the other steamrolled over his efforts.

"One can only take so much after hearing of the same bullshit all of the time," he continued, though now he raised his voice a pitch, perfectly mirroring Yugi's own in a sneer. "'Is Yami a god or just egotistical?', 'I wonder if Mom is home today', 'I wonder if Grandpa needs help in the shop today', 'Tea looks really nice today. I wonder if she'll spread her legs for me—'"

"You are such a fucking jackass," Yugi cut in, unable to stop his laughter. He shook his head, glaring at Yami playfully for a moment. "I thought we agreed to stop saying those things about her and Serenity."

"I would never surrender such a precious source of amusement," Yami answered, smirking at him. It was cruel and mocking, but there was also something that seemed almost friendly in his eyes for a brief moment. "What  _actually_ happened is that you  _suggested_ it and I mere nodded because I wished for you to shut up."

"You're such an ass." Yugi shook his head again, smiling widely. He chuckled and looked away to the carpet. "Anyways, about your question. If the traps inflict damage to life points or they can destroy a monster, then you can use them. Spell cards that power up the monsters can only be used if you have a card that it can be applied to at that moment. Otherwise you might as well discard it."

Yami nodded at him, Yugi noticed. His red eyes were focused on his face and Yugi offered him a small smile as he raised his eyes completely to his again.

"Burning Land won't work, for instance, since it's a field card. Dragon Treasure wouldn't work unless you had Winged Dragon or Curse of Dragon in your hand. Monster Reborn can be used, since it will give you a monster. Also, if we play a card that is the same in attack, we can go ahead and discard them both. That will be considered a draw."

"And defense?"

"You can go ahead and play a card in defensive mode. It'll last two turns just like the stronger cards."

"And a card like Mirror Force?"

"If one of us plays a monster that is too strong to remove or…we think we should skip out on the other's win, we can play it to remove the card."

Yami watched him for a moment. His red eyes seemed almost curious and puzzled once more before he nodded. "Monster effects?" he asked cautiously, as if he did not know what else he might say.

"Since we're playing one card at a time aside from traps or spells, they're really kind of useless…"

"Good. No face-down monsters, then?"

"None at all. Flip effects don't work either."

"Even better."

When Yami placed Mammoth Graveyard on the field, he hardly looked confident. And he did not so much as blink when Yugi placed Stone Soldier in defense mode. Yami complied in putting his monster aside, leaning back on his hands and waiting for him to speak now. He did not seem at ease with answering questions.

But he did not look as if he might argue either.

He did not seem as if he might get up and leave. He did not seem as if he felt he was being interrogated. He looked almost as if the outcome of the cards meant nothing to him. He looked almost as if he already knew who might win and had no care for the path to such a conclusion.

"So…why do you kill?"

Yami looked at him through hooded eyes. A smirk tugged at the left side of his mouth and he watched him curiously. "Energy, Yugi. My entire body revolves around energy." He snorted after a moment, then chuckled. "It's another way of getting energy. It helps when you aren't putting out."

"Oh, yes, thank you for making me sound like a fuckboy."

"You're welcome."

Yugi blinked at the dismissive, amused response. Then he laughed and glared at him. "You're always such a little shit," he snickered. He couldn't help but fold away beneath Yami's unapologetic nature, shaking his head as he studied him.

He had so often said something nasty in a tone that would make him feel almost sick. And then he would laugh, unable to stop himself. Yugi had, for whatever reason, been unable to keep from snickering the moment Yami spoke out against him in such a manner. Though their amount of exposure to one another was limited for the most part, he could not think of a proper number to encompass the many times.

There were so many that he could not help but feel even more amused.

Yami drew another card, then flicked it away and hummed. "Ask another."

Yugi frowned, but he could not see the card that had landed facedown in his discard pile. He supposed it could have been Burning Land or Full Moon, or anything like those two.

"Um…okay…" Yugi licked his lips and chewed at his cheek for a moment. His eyes flickered to the other's, losing all remnants of laughter and regarding him seriously. The deity stared back at him with the same lazy expression he'd worn so often. "You said before that Ushio had encroached on your domain… So am  _I_ your domain or is it something else?"

"I see no reason why you feel the need to ask such questions when the person they are so heavily focused upon is  _dead_. Why must you question me about someone whose rotting  _corpse_ was found in a  _nameless alley_? Do you find a morbid sense of justice in questioning me about his death?"

Yugi faltered, listening to his intense snarling. He blinked as the taller teen bristled, shaking his head so sharply that Yugi nearly flinched. He swore he heard the bones snap but he could not tell if it was true or if it was simply his imagination.

"If you don't want to—"

"This must make you feel  _so_ special," Yami spat, nearly frothing at the mouth. His hatred made his voice deeper, his eyes burning and his lips pulling back to show his sharp canines. His voice was spiteful, singeing him with obvious distaste. Growing disgust crashed through him. "Yes, you are, as the owner of the Puzzle, my domain."

"Yami, I didn't mean to—"

"You ask me for answers and yet you do not like the ones I supply," Yami interrupted in a sharp, cold tone. His voice was laden with rage and Yugi flinched back, his insides twisting painfully. "You waste my time with such foolishness."

Yugi flinched again, looking away. He opened his mouth, perhaps to say that this game was a bad idea or maybe to apologize. But the words, unformed but somehow resting on the tip of his tongue regardless, fell into nothingness.

Yami's voice came out abruptly calm and quiet now. It was as if the life had been drained from him. His anger was too wild for him to sustain any longer in his tired state.

"It is not as if I might possess a territory within this world. But, it is not so much you or the Puzzle that make you such. It is the mere fact that I am bound to both. If someone is to strike out against you or lay a hand on you, they place themselves within my line of sight. They place themselves in my territory and I am allowed then to do with them what I wish."

"Which mean you plan to kill them."

"You know this. So why even bother to say it?"

"Because, it's not right, Yami. You shouldn't—"

"Then I suppose that it is  _I_ who should waste away instead, yes?" Yami said coldly, red eyes gleaming with hate. "Would that please you, Yugi? Is that what you truly desire?"

Yugi froze in place, horrified by the very statement. Did he really think he would rather he get hurt? That he would rather have him die than someone else? That he hated him so much?

"You can't really think—"

Another card was flicked away. The force Yami used made the card collide with a strangely heavy noise. Yugi halted, eyes wide in alarm. The other boy was watching him with such cold ferocity that he felt as if his spine were turning into ice. His body was held tight with the terrible tension. From beneath the shadows of his lashes, his gaze was so dark as to be a uniform blackness. And its depth was fathomless.

He watched him as if he might strike him. And then, finally, the deity very slowly pulled his hand away from the deck. He straightened his spine, hissing, "Another question, Yugi."

Yugi blinked, unable to process the words. He couldn't help but lower his eyes. Yami was tapping the back of one of his cards with his nails. And the noise was so unnaturally keen it made his head spin for a brief moment. His attention made Yami turn his hand away.

But it brushed against the inside of his wrist. And from there the flesh split as if touched by a knife. A small trail of bright red began to trickle downwards. The sting they both felt made Yugi nearly flinch away.

"Another. Question. Yugi. Seeing as you are so  _fucking curious about me_."

Yugi swallowed hard. "What if I asked you not to kill anymore?"

There was a moment of silence. And Yami remained still, statuesque for a brief moment. He watched him with burning red eyes. And then he sprang at him.

The momentum sent them both falling backwards. His hands were around his neck in a second. His teeth were bared. His eyes were blazing. He snarled, shaking with the noise. Every part of his body quivered for a moment.

And then he chomped his teeth.

"That's not going to happen," he snarled. His teeth clicked forcefully, loudly. Yugi nearly flinched. Instead he tried to squirm out from beneath him. But Yami moved. And he was forced to freeze. Hot exhales burst forward against his skin. His jaw tingled from the force. And he realized, horrified, that Yami was at his jaw. His teeth were braced there. "That will  _never_ happen. It is  _not_ an  _option_."

"I didn't—I was… I…I was just…a-asking." The words were choked and he trembled for a moment. Yami's mouth was braced, open and wide. He knew he could crush his jawbone at any moment. All it would take was a single moment in which he was angered enough. He would snap his jaws shut and Yugi would no longer have half of his face, he was sure.

He trembled, unable to breathe any longer. The fear kept him winded. And Yami's teeth kept themselves there. His breath was hot and terrible against his skin. And his canines brushed his flesh at one point. He knew because they were unnaturally sharp, like the blade of a knife.

Yami kept him pinned for a moment longer. And, to Yugi's shock, his breath against his skin became icy. His nails dug into his flesh. And they were cold until they punctured skin. Blood swept up and soaked his fingertips. There was a slight, terrible tremor in the deity.

Then he pulled back again. He stood up, watching Yugi expressionlessly. But Yugi could see that he was winded. He was visibly shaken and unable to move. But his eyes flickered briefly towards the door. And Yugi knew he was torn between the need to flee and the instinct to remain there. He didn't think Yami truly knew a fight-or-flight instinct. He thought he knew more the instinct to fight but struggled to remind himself to keep from harming Yugi.

They shared pain. They always had since they'd come to cross paths.

Yami was staring at him now. His red eyes were narrowed and cold now. And he stared at him as if he thought Yugi might draw a knife from thin air and stab him. The gleam in his eyes was hideous, burning, and it pulsated with hatred for a moment. The warning in his expression was clear, showing him that he had treaded too far.

Then, as if a switch had been flicked in his mind, Yami turned away. He paced a step. Then he threw himself back onto the floor with such heaviness Yugi almost thought his bones might snap. And then he breathed in slowly through his jaws.

" _Never_ ask such a thing of me."

Yugi was shaking when he sat up. His lungs felt strangled and he struggled to breathe for a moment, panting. He felt small, aching, and something trembled inside of him. His tongue felt laden. He drew a hand up to run through his hair but the quivers made the strands knot.

He hissed in pain, recoiling. But he could not remove it. And Yami stared back at him as he tried again and flinched harder. He watched him, but the other merely looked at his nails.

They were bright red, as if painted.

"I wouldn't…ask you not to when it's helping you create your body," Yugi managed in a weak, pathetic voice. He nearly croaked with horror, his stomach lurching painfully. Horror crashed through him, his mouth dry and pasty. He didn't look up at the other any further than his nails where they were being inspected. "I was just…wondering."

For a moment the other failed to acknowledge him. Then he shifted his weight, bunching his shoulders and dropping them again. The roll of movement was so sharp and predatory that he almost flinched. The bones were like jagged spikes of ice molded beneath his skin, so hideous that Yugi could not help but cringe at the sight.

"I forfeit," Yami muttered suddenly. He spoke just loud enough for him to hear. He blinked slowly, frowning at him. And then he raised his head to face Yugi more fully. Yugi could see his fingers shaking. "And I apologize. Please… Feel free to ask your other questions."

He looked  _defeated_  and small. Yugi had never seen that expression on his face before and now he felt sick to consider it. But Yami's seemingly momentary lapse of judgment still left him dizzy. Their eyes locked now and Yugi couldn't help but add yet another description to the other boy.

Yami was  _exhausted_.

His eyes were dulled, as if he had somehow aged before him. The depth of them was flat, weakened as if he had lost all the energy that gave them life. And he seemed to have withdrawn completely within himself.

He looked… _lethargic_. He looked as if he were an elderly person that was close to death and waiting for the appearance of a grim reaper. He looked as if he might somehow slip away from Yugi at any moment…

"H-how long do you think your body will take?" Yugi blurted out before he could stop himself. His voice startled Yami enough to tilt his head and blink in confusion. Yugi's cheeks heated and he felt shame crash through him. Horror hit him as he realized how pathetic his phrasing was. But then he felt another crashing emotion, one which tore through him and destroyed the shame and horror.

Yami was  _pissed_.

"I mean…do—do you think it's going to take years or just months? Or are you just going to wake up one day and just be… _complete_?"

"How the fuck would  _I_ know, Yugi? I have no idea. But I hope to the  _other_ goes that it will not be  _years_."

He shivered. His tone was exasperated but laced with something almost akin self-pity and weakness. The defeat in his frame had not changed. And, just as it had come, the anger was gone from where it had been growing inside of them both.

Could Yami even make it a year?

Or would he wither away into nothing before his body could even get the proper chance to form?

What if he just slipped away during the night when he was asleep?

He trembled openly now and the other teen sat up straighter, startled by the sight.

"How often do you think you need sex?"

Yami frowned at him now, confused. His head tilted and he appeared lost as to the meaning of his question. And Yugi realized he had to be wondering at the question. He had begun shaking again, and Yami was studying him with bewilderment once more.

"I cannot be sure. It could be weeks or as little as every other month. I am sure it will become less frequent as time goes by, however." He frowned further and leaned forward with his hands in between his legs. His balance was more comfortable now, Yugi noted. He looked almost like a canine preparing to rise to its feet for a split second. "Or…at least we must hope it will."

Yugi watched him for a long moment. And then he ceased trembling. Hatred and anger seized him. And he raised his shoulders, bristling, as he spat, "How long have you been feeling like shit, Yami?"

Yami blinked and his head turned away, lips drawing back to bare his teeth for a brief moment.

"When did the temperature spikes and the  _anger_ start, Yami?"

"It began about two days after we had sex," Yami spat. He snapped his jaws hard enough to make the entire room vibrate with the noise. He refused to look back at him, eyes cold and dangerous as he regarded the walls with hatred. "You went into the kitchen for dinner and I was very…suddenly…exhausted. My head began to hurt and my eyes to burn. So I went to sleep. And the anger began soon after I woke. The rest…well, I suppose that you know what has happened since, yes?"

"Why the  _fuck_ didn't you  _tell_ me, Yami? Goddamn it!"

"Why?" Yami snarled, spinning on him. He chomped his teeth again. His nails were pressed forcefully against the floor. They ate at the fibers and he clenched his fingers there, restraining himself from leaping forward at him. "Why do you  _think_ I didn't?"

Yugi opened his mouth to spit at him. He meant to snarl and snap and feel all the fool that Yugi thought he was at the moment. And then realization crossed his mind. And his stomach twisted violently as he considered him.

He blinked and pulled himself back to sit against the side of the bed. He forced himself to look relaxed, to seem as if he did not want to wring Yami's neck. As long as he did not exude violence, Yami was unlikely to lash out at him, he remembered. The god was more likely to respond to visual cues than he was to anything else.

"Yami, I'm  _not_ going to hurt you. I already told you that. How many times do you need me to say it?" he asked, struggling to keep from snapping now. He drew in a deep breath, reminding himself once more that if he remained calm Yami was more likely to listen, to actually pay attention to what he was saying. He was more likely to resist the urge to lash out at him. "Please,  _next time_ , if something like this ever happens again, you just need to  _come to me_ and  _tell me_."

They were staring at each other for a long moment. Yugi felt more than ever that Yami might leap at him. And Yami stared at him in a similar manner, as if he assumed such a thing might happen at any moment. And he thought himself by far more justified than the red-eyed teen could say. Yugi had never truly lashed out at…

But yes he had. Yugi blinked in surprise at the thought. He'd hit him in the face when he'd told him to stop jerking him off when he had followed him to the hospital when he'd gone to visit Serenity. Joey's little sister was going blind, and he'd gone to see her, to ask her how she was and catch up somewhat. And, as Yami was not talking to him regularly at the time, Yugi had threatened to punch him if he didn't stop.

It might not have hurt the god in the slightest, but he'd still done it. He'd gone against his usual pacifistic nature and hit him.

But it wasn't this that Yami was so afraid of. Yami was afraid of him for an entirely different reason altogether. It had nothing to do with whether Yugi hit hard or not. It had to do with the fact that he had power over him. It had to do with the fact that he owned the Puzzle. And that made him the biggest threat in Yami's existence.

It made him dangerous, something that had to be eliminated in order to ensure Yami's survival. But the Puzzle had bound them both forcefully. And Yami could not hurt Yugi without hurting himself first. Yami was just as justified in his constant vigil against him, perhaps even more so than Yugi himself was.

He was even weaker than usual— _after_  doing what he had assumed would  _save_ him. Constant exposure to Yugi was clearly wearing on him. And the irony of it was that his potential destroyer was also his only salvation.

In reality, he thought the threat of Yami leaping at him in blind rage was mediocre at best in comparison.

"That…goes against  _every_ natural instinct I possess. I do not think that it will ever happen."

"Okay, well, sometimes it's going to  _have_ to, Yami! Just like if you  _need_ sex and can't do anything else to get energy!" Yugi snapped before he could stop himself. His tone was bitter, sharper than he'd intended. And he faltered as Yami blinked, curling his lip back slightly but seemingly curious more than upset. "Just  _ask_ me, okay? Just…come on, Yami, if you need something, why am I going to say no?"

"I don't know—I…" Yami paused. Then he shrugged harshly, baring his teeth again and hissing out a deep breath. When he spoke again, it was from behind his teeth and he looked as if he were struggling to remember how to phrase the words he wanted to say. "Whatever.  _Fine_. I shall  _try_ next time."

"Just…send me a mental image of porn or something. I'll get the idea."

Yami very slowly turned his head, tilting it to the side. He watched him with such a cynical expression that Yugi paused. For a moment he hesitated, about to ask what it was that made him look at him like that. And then the deity leaned forward, snorting loudly and staring at him with eyes full of mocking laughter.

"You claim to know visual cues?" he scoffed, then laughed so loudly the noise seemed to echo off the walls, reverberating in Yugi's skull endlessly for a long moment. "You expect me to believe that you might get the idea from  _that_? You are the boy who did not even realize that his best friend was giving him  _very specific_ porn videos so that it looked like the girl he was lusting after was on screen."

Yugi blushed, entire face turning bright red. He opened and closed his mouth, then swallowed thickly and looked away. "You… Shut up, Yami. We don't…talk about that anymore." He cleared his throat and ducked his head in shame when Yami scoffed loudly. "Okay, well, unless you ask outright, or just  _say_ that you need it, you are going to have to work with me on this."

"I could do that thing where I give you  _really_ inappropriate thoughts and make you want to fuck yourself—"

"Oh my— _no_. No, no,  _no_." Yugi shook his head wildly and scowled at him in annoyance. "Okay, so obviously I just need you to picture  _us_ having sex or something. Something that's super simple and basic and easy to understand. Gods, Yami, you're so rude."

"Gods?" the other snorted, no longer looking at him and regarding his nails again. "I question your loyalty."

"Oh,  _shut up_."

"Are we done now?" The question was asked sharply. And Yami was already drawing his legs under himself to get to his feet. When he straightened, Yugi thought that he looked somehow unnaturally thin. He had seen only the smallest flash of skin, but it still alarmed him and he felt sick to his stomach. Abrupt certainty swelled through him. There was something incredibly wrong with the deity in front of him.

Yugi blinked, swallowing hard, and Yami rolled his shoulders. He dusted himself off after a moment and narrowed his eyes into slits. Then he glanced at the clock on the desk before turning away again. "I gave forfeit. You have asked your questions. Am I free to leave the room yet?"

Yugi paused, opening and closing his mouth. He got up slowly, stomach twisting into a painful blob of muscle. And then he stumbled forward a step, nearly shivering. His legs were weak, as if they might buckle beneath his weight. And his mouth grew dry once more.

"Do you want to leave the room?"

Yami gave him a look as if he could not understand how such a stupid creature could have existed for so long. He looked at him as if he did not understand how it was that Yugi even assumed it was okay to look at him to begin with. Slowly his arms folded across his chest, an action that Yugi couldn't decide was fearful or self-conscious at the moment. His nails were still painted bright red with his blood, and his fingers closed around the fabric of his jacket sleeves.

"Do you truly mean to ask me such an ignorant question?" He paused, narrowing his eyes. And now Yugi knew it was fear which made him grip so tightly at his clothing. He was not sure if he was scared of lashing out or if somehow Yugi had managed to invoke fear in him. "And you got your answers, did you not? Or were they not to your satisfaction? Shall we go through each one in more detail?"

"No." Yugi shook his head, hesitating, and then drew in a deep breath. "I mean that I…"

He searched for the words to explain himself for what felt like hours. His mind was slower than ever, struggling, but so wholly focused on the fact that Yami was so unhealthy that it was impossible to truly think anymore. He hesitated again, opening and closing his mouth, and shook his head slowly.

The deity watched him for a moment. Then he turned abruptly away. His sharp eyes shot to the door. His expression was cold and his gaze glittered with disdain. He turned his head, then started to move towards it.

Yugi reached out before he could stop himself. Yami startled, head snapping towards him. He backed up out of his reach, nearly snarling. But the deity seemed to lose his sense of alarm when Yugi simply stared back at him. The small teen bit his lip and peered at him as if Yami were somehow too great for him to truly grasp. There was something in the back of his eyes that made him bristle. Anger swelled up in him for a moment, but Yami could not pinpoint it and so he did not allow himself to react visibly.

Yugi opened and closed his mouth once more. And Yami wondered at the sight, but the smaller teen simply shook his head. When he leaned forward, Yami blinked. Their lips pressed together and they stared at each other. The sight of those blue-violet eyes so close to his own red made him feel cold, somehow strangely hollow as if Yugi had managed to pull his organs from his body and break his bones into nothingness.

The sight of them, wide and open, staring back at him, made him swallow. He was confused, his stomach twisting violently for a moment. And then he forced himself to focus again. Yugi had said he would not harm him. For the moment he would have to believe that, if only because he had no way to defend against him without killing himself…

Yugi blinked once, then seemed to recover whatever nerves had claimed him. His eyes closed tightly. And he leaned more noticeably forward, so much so that Yami almost stumbled beneath the pressure.

His body quickly righted itself, feet moving to catch himself instinctively. The core of his body was aching and cold, so far beneath the surface, that he nearly cringed at the sensation. Where Yugi seemed to touch him, the chill grew acutely painful. He nearly snarled, disgusted and horrified by the touch. But he could nothing more than stare blankly at him. Yugi had moved just enough to fist the material of his shirt, pulling him closer as if they still might somehow have the room to do so.

Or maybe they did. Yami could have simply overlooked it. But then, he also did not care. He did not think he felt the smallest inclination towards showing interest in such a thing. But then, the room was so incredibly small as it was, encompassed by Yugi's cheerfulness and gentler outlook on life. Everything about the room cried that he owned it, that it was  _his_ space, that he lived there. Yami felt out of place, nearly disgusted with the very idea of being forced to remain there.

He did not need Yugi's very  _essence_ encircling him so fully, no matter their relationship or lack of.

The thought made Yami close his eyes. He felt dizzy and small, his insides tossing and turning under its pull. He choked on a breath that was not his as Yugi pressed his way into his mouth. They were pulled so tightly together that they seemed almost born of the same cloth, molded from the same shadows. The material of his shirt was pulled taut across his back. His chest was barely blocked from Yugi's by his smaller arms folded there to keep him captive.

But his mouth seemed to be burning, growing numb. His nerves seemed to be bursting with pain. And he could not think straight for a split second.

Yet something inside of him was curling with satisfaction. It was somehow familiar and yet foreign all at once. It seemed to purr like a contented cat. And then it lashed out as if to draw blood. It would settle moments later. And then it began again.

Yami nearly moaned at the sensation. It was hideous. It was a foreign entity. And yet somehow it pleased him. It did not make sense to him. And the pain seemed to numb with each flicker of it. It was vibrant and beautiful to the touch. And it brushed against his organs softly.

His consciousness seemed to grow stronger, more plentiful. And each moment that passed made him feel that much more powerful.  
But another part of him rebelled against it. A part of him told him to stop Yugi. It snarled that something was amiss. It screamed that something was wrong and missing in his instincts. And it made his spine tighten. The bone seemed to bunch together and press upon itself painfully.

He nearly hissed with discomfort. He could not understand what it was that could be doing such a thing. He did not know if there was a single thing he comprehended enough to give reasonable thought to.

Desperately, as if he knew nothing else, his hands very abruptly caught at Yugi's back as if in an affectionate embrace. They flattened first against his shoulder blades, and then his nails sank into the fabric there. He felt disconnected, as if almost painfully confused, and abandonment seemed to swell through him. He folded his fingers tightly, as if attempting to sink them through Yugi's flesh in order to keep him there.

The material of his shirt bunched and seemed to shred with the action. Yugi hissed into his mouth, startled, but did not pull away. The tendons bulged beneath his skin, twisting painfully where the bones were curled so far inwards. They began to tremble, briefly, and then abruptly became steady again.

It was almost as if, to his shame, Yami was trying somehow to use him as an anchor.

He seemed almost to wish to envelope and fall within him. He was almost so desperate as to fold himself into one with the smaller boy. The way he dug his fingers in, how he leaned forward ever so slightly; the fact that his leg had moved as if to capture Yugi's…

They hit the ground so painfully that Yugi yelped. Their teeth clicked. His paw exploded with pain. Yami recoiled. The impact made Yugi's head spin. Yami growled, somewhere between dismayed and bitter, and began to untangle himself. Yugi blinked stupidly at the ceiling. For a moment the deity was dizzy, almost swaying from where he remained sitting partially upright. And then Yugi snatched at him.

Yami had been pulling away, he realized. And now he was restrained there.

Yugi was holding his sleeve in a vice grip.

"Where are you going?" he asked, voice weak and unsteady. But it was somehow light as well, excitement making it dance in the air for a split second. Yami paused, eyes widening, and blinked at him in bewilderment. Yugi drew in a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. "The bed is right there."

Yami opened and closed his mouth, then glanced at the bed and slowly back to Yugi. Yugi was gazing up at him from the floor. He looked tired, but somehow as gentle and kind as ever. The sight of his amusement was mixed with fear and confusion and Yami felt his skin tingle.

He felt it flare in his stomach, hissing upwards as if he might vomit, and it scraped outwards and into his other organs painfully. He swallowed hard, unable to do anything more, and then closed his eyes as he drew in a ragged breath. His lungs felt shredded and small, as if they were reforming within his chest. The thought made Yami tremble briefly, terribly.

His heart hammered harshly within his ears. And his stomach lulled more than ever as he narrowed his eyes. His mouth snapped open, voice cold and hideous as he began to snarl.

"Then get up there."

For a moment Yugi remained frozen, startled by his violent tone. Then he watched the way his jaw jumped and clenched painfully. It was becoming clearer by the second that whatever was wrong with the other boy was growing acutely worse. There was no chance he would show himself to be any weaker than he already had.

He would not move until Yugi did. It would ensure that he was not seen as anything less than he wanted.

"Okay." Yugi slipped out from beneath him. He watched Yami's face as he did so, searching his expression. His eyes narrowed into the tiniest of slits. His pupils blew wide to encompass his irises. He could see his reflection there even amidst the darkness and it horrified him. Yugi scrambled and moved away, almost throwing himself onto the mattress as he breathed in roughly and rolled onto his back.

Yami took a moment longer than he had. For the single second he hesitated, he seemed as if he were struggling to breathe. His ribs expanded, then contracted, then followed immediately with a much fuller inhale. They stuttered again, and finally grew swift and heavy with their intake.

The deity kicked his shoes off without a glance at him, threw himself onto the bed, and straddled him as if he had never hesitated moments before. His hands grasped either side of Yugi's flanks, holding the comforter tightly in what seemed like a killing grip. He was shaking, a mixture of tension and anxiety.

Yugi did not question this, however. Nor did he do more than blink slowly and finally close his eyes tightly to shut away the sight before him.

His blue-violet eyes opened again, fluttering and heavy-lidded with desire, to look at him for a moment. They blinked at each other, frozen in place by the expression that greeted them there. Yugi was still somewhat horrified but mostly panicked. There was just enough of an artificial calm between them that stopped Yami short, staring as he wondered if perhaps he had mistaken the expression.

The deity himself looked as if he had gotten himself caught in a web spun by silk so powerful it immobilized him but for the exhaustion that coated his features. For a second both considered the other a flight risk. It was as if they might spring away before they had the chance to stop them. They both attempted to tighten their grasps, to the point of flesh bruising and teeth being bared.

But neither of them made a move to leave.

Instead they watched each other. Yugi leaned forward to snatch him forward, pressing their mouths together again. His fingers speared the deity's soft hair, tangling and pulling. He cupped the back of his neck with his left hand, shifting his position slightly. His lips pressed harder against Yugi's, tongue sweeping through his mouth and moving about in a demanding manner. It made the world fall away until it was encompassed by only him and his existence.

His nails scraped his scalp and his body arched. He squirmed beneath him in an attempt to press harder against the deity. But it was almost impossible to move any closer, they were all but plastered together. He was tingling all over, that strange heat in his stomach curling and flashing outwards to make his senses ache softly. The marrow in his bones felt almost liquid, warm and pleasurable. It made his heart pound with something akin to horror and satisfaction all at once.

Yami lifted his mouth from his only when he felt the sway of his mind with the desperation to draw in a new breath. But Yugi kept his hand tightly fisted in his hair, refusing to lessen his grip even slightly. His nose brushed the bottom of his jaw, breath ghosting over his skin. He trembled.

"Easy, Yugi," he hissed softly. His teeth clenched as Yugi attempted to pull him back to him once more. He breathed in harder and narrowed his eyes. "I am not going anywhere. And I need to breathe."

It was somewhat horrifying when he opened his eyes and looked at him again. His cheeks were flushed, his body quivering, his lips parted only slightly. His eyes were glassy, his mouth almost swollen and tingling harshly. But he was not panting.

Yugi might have been breathing a little harder, but he was not panting as Yami seemed to be.

He blinked his fingers through the other boy's hair, shaken by the idea. He closed his eyes again in fear that he might find some kind of pity there. The strands shifted around his hand like silk, soft and smooth and beautiful red-tipped hair the color of a raven's feather. He shuddered slightly, swallowing hard, but did not give air to the fear that was making his belly cold and hollow.

"Is this why you grabbed me? So that you could take advantage of me?"

"No one takes advantage of you, Yami no Yugi. You make sure of that," Yugi replied, unnerved by the seriousness that lingered in his voice despite the clear joke he had attempted. Yugi shook his head when he looked at him with something akin coldness. But he did not speak further, instead pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"Hmm."

It was the smallest of hums, full of discontent and something like disgust. But the deity did nothing more than turn his mouth to kiss him fully again. The grip on his hair tightened to the point of inflicting pain, but Yami could not find it within himself to care. The heat in his body was swaying and burning violently.

For a moment he wondered if perhaps he had bled into Yugi fully somehow. Or maybe they had wound up fucking without his notice. But the core of it came from inside of him and the idea made no sense.

The hands moved from his neck and hair to drift over his shoulders and glide down his arms. His back arched with pleasure beneath the light touch. And Yugi's fingers slowly slid over his ribs.

Instinct stirred somewhere deep in the deity. And he barely resisted the urge to snarl in response to the gossamer affection. His ribs seemed too small and weak to restrain or support him any longer. They appeared almost nonexistent should they not have expanded with each breath he took.

That instinct told Yami to lash out as violently as he able. He needed to ward off the threat to his weaker points. But it began to fade almost immediately. It was swallowed away, drowning beneath the rest of the confliction that made itself known within his exhausted body.

His heads were startling cold in comparison to the feverish intensity that came over Yami. But it was painful to Yugi, who felt weak and sick for a moment at his touch. It was alien and strange even within his memories of contact between the two of them. Yami was almost the personification of the winter air outside of his window. And even where they maintained the contact of flesh against flesh, it did nothing to warm him in the slightest.

Fearfully, the smaller teen wondered if nothing might come to help him.

Was it possible that something had gone wrong their first time? Had he somehow wounded Yami? Maybe he was bleeding internally and Yami was unable to stop it because his body was far too weak. What if he became his reflection and disappeared suddenly like a wisp of black and red smoke?

He clung to Yami for a moment, pulling him so roughly forward that the deity snarled but did not break away. Instead his mouth found Yugi's clavicle, his fingers parting just enough to nip gently. But he swore the flesh tore and split and blood was warming his body, making him almost volcanic in temperature.

His fingers crept along his hips, stroking across his stomach and touching lightly against the pale flesh and dark sliver of hair that trailed to his waistband. Yugi hesitated for a moment, breathing gently in his ear for assurance, and the other boy grunted softly in response. He followed that trail, wondering at the way that Yami seemed to stiffen as if startled. He swallowed thickly at the way the material of his pants seemed to droop and further pronounce his skinny, weakened state.

Yugi moved slowly, horrified by the way he thought again that he might dissipate suddenly. And some part of him hoped uselessly that he might be able to do what he could not before and reacquaint Yami with his own body temperature.

Yami hissed, growling softly at the touch to his erection. Yugi paused again, blinking at the other. But Yami did not object, and so Yugi wrapped his hand around it.

It was somehow surprising to find that he had not lost weight there. He was no smaller than he had been when they'd first had sex. But the rest of him seemed so much smaller and thinner, as if it were curling in on itself from emaciation and some kind of insidious weakness.

Yugi shook the thought off and looked up at him, eyes wide as he held the other's gaze. Red against blue-violet, the smaller teen swallowed but moved to dip his fingers further between his legs. The movement made Yami pause, but the hesitation passed and the tension faded if only minutely.

He was willing enough, Yugi noted with the smallest hint of satisfaction. He allowed him to circle the ring of muscle there, then even to lightly prod at it with his index finger. But he also noticed that, despite his initial allowance to do so, Yami was now bristling. And the thought rattled him for a moment.

Had he wanted to top? Was that what this change of attitude was? If that was what he wanted, Yugi would let him do it if he could control his temper enough not to harm him. If he could prove he was not so vicious as he had been only minutes earlier before he'd forfeited, then he was fine to do so.

But Yami did not seem to care to acknowledge his thoughts. But Yugi was sure he had projected them loudly enough for the deity to hear. He had made a point of doing so now, to press as forcefully into his mind as he possibly could. Blinking in confusion, Yugi watched an array of emotions play across the deity's sharper face. It startled him now to see the hatred and anger there, mixed with lust and the smallest bit of dissatisfaction.

He pressed his index finger further into the deity, burying it up to the first knuckle. And then he blinked stupidly only to relax when he heard the soft moan that escaped Yami's lips.

"Tell me you want me."

The words were said with a mystifying desperation. And Yugi found himself breathless as he looked back at him.

Yami blinked once, long and slow. And for the briefest of seconds it seemed as if he were somehow digging himself up from a depth in his own mind that Yugi could never come to fathom. The displacement in his eyes cleared rather abruptly and his body lost much of its tension.

"I want you."

He was sneering. But the way he said it made Yugi think of the game telephone. Yami seemed simply to be parroting him as emotionlessly as a computer program might. The thought made Yugi feel weak and small. But he realized as well that Yami knew exactly why it was that he had asked for his approval.

He would have felt he was taking advantage of him had he not given him a verbal recognition of what they were doing. Because his eyes were far away and his thoughts seemed out of reach. It was only his physical presence which remained with him, heavily overshadowed by this fact.

Yugi scrabbled at him now with his free hand, clawing at the material of his shirt and jacket. He felt almost pathetic in his need to somehow fix a problem that Yugi himself was not sure how to even identify. When he prodded again, the deity hesitated a moment, then spread his legs to balance himself. It gave him more room and allowed Yami to regain a more comfortable position.

But somehow he moved so awkwardly that Yami nearly fell forward. Yugi watched him with a cold and horrid realization overcoming him.

This would not fix Yami.

This would not heal his weakness.

And Yugi did not know of any other way that he could do it.

Yugi was trembling as Yami finally moved to pull his clothes off. The teen kicked them off with an awkward movement that reminded Yami of a fish flailing, dropping them to the floor without a second look. Instead he watched Yugi again, red eyes seemingly growing brighter where they had formerly been dark and disconnected around the edges of his blown pupils. Slowly but surely his attention grew focused again, his expression inquisitive, and Yugi forced himself to ignore it.

Yugi caught his mouth with his again, moving to pull him somehow closer with his fingers pressed harder into the flesh of his ass in desperation. The way their teeth clicked and his own body struggled to make them mold together so painfully made him shudder. His panic made him wonder if maybe those few lucky survivors from deserted nameless islands felt the same when they received fresh food and water.

It took him only moments to find the best way to ease Yami into the position he desired. The taller teen hissed and snarled low in his throat, back hitting the mattress with enough force that it knocked the air from his lungs. But he did not protest any further. Yugi prodded again, finding his balance, and pumped once. He let out a small breath of relief when he finally touched his prostate. But the pleasure seemed to be only partially received as the deity threw his head back and his jaw clicked loudly.

His sharp nails cut into Yugi's skin like razors. It had not been more than a month since their first time. But the deity was shocked by the pain which crashed through him. He had the impulse to snarl and push him away, though not before he thought to snap his neck like a twig or tear his jugular out with his teeth.

Yami writhed, unused to the sensation so much so that it made him want to scream in pain for a split second. He barely resisted the urge to lunge forward and attack him as violently as he could. Panting, baring his teeth briefly. He managed to growl out, " _Move_ " with just enough strength that it made him uncertain the word had left his own lips.

He was almost startled by the demand. And he felt as if he might vomit. His face was twisting up he knew, perhaps with pain or maybe with anger. And his body seemed desperate to curl in on itself, folding away and desperate. Yami kept his teeth bared, head turned away from him, breathing hard as he struggled to remember to breathe. He snarled almost inaudibly seconds later, his displaced rage making him nearly shake with despair.

But Yugi followed his instructions. He moved as quickly as he dared considering the little preparation he had done. The bed creaked with the first thrust and Yugi nearly toppled over in his unsteady haste.

Yami clawed at him, drawing blood in his pain. He felt it sticky and burning against his long fingers. Furiously, the red-eyed teen dug further. He struggled to find a better sensation to pull at his body. The pleasure he should have felt with each thrust was replaced by an aching need that he did not know how to satisfy. It made his skull ache and burn. And his thoughts fell away into nothingness.

He let out something between a snarl of displeasure and confusion when the feeling of warmth fled his body. It was so swift and sudden that he paused. Yugi was panting above him, trembling with exhaustion. And he could barely keep his weight from collapsing on him entirely.

Yami blinked, unsure of what more to do. There was nothing to greet him but the heat that burned his nerve endings with such power he nearly yelped. The blood on his feelings, he realized belatedly. Feeling almost weak and small for not knowing before, Yami knew that  _this_ was why they felt so hot.

He blinked again, slowly and without true purpose. Then he withdrew a hand to look at it. Had he gouged him so terribly? His entirely palm to his wrist was smeared with it. He looked as he had the moment he had finally killed Ushio after such a long and satisfying Shadow Game. He stared at the contours of his fingers, the prints there, but swore they were almost nonexistent.

Had he come? Yami looked at Yugi slowly, feeling strange and distant as they locked eyes. Something had changed between them, he realized slowly. And it was nothing good.

The smaller teen was spent, and visibly so, but Yami himself felt nothing. Confusion came through him and a strange hollowness seemed to seep into his bones. Realization crept over him and he struggled for a moment. Yugi was watching him, had clearly seen that as well. He looked sick to his stomach and so horrified that Yami would have formerly assumed he had killed someone in front of him.

"I…"

Yami fell silent again immediately, unable to shake the urge to curl in on himself in his growing state of dismay. He lowered his eyes, finding his gaze locked blankly on Yugi's stomach.

It was somehow more mystifying than anything else. His soft skin was soaked, painted a hideous red and creamy white.

* * *

Yami was picking at his nails, tearing at the flakes of dried blood there, when Yugi returned to the room. He had fled only moments after the deity had noticed he was covered with his orgasm and his own blood. For twenty minutes he had been scrubbing himself furiously in the shower. It had horrified and disgusted him and it did not help that his brain felt muddled, confused, and he thought himself responsible.

Logically, he knew it was not something he had done which had caused Yami to become so despondent. It made no sense for him to tell himself that he was at fault. But it still remained and guilt tore at his insides.

The first layer of skin was a bright pink on every inch of his body but for his face, he knew. And along his stomach he had actually scrubbed hard enough to break skin. There had been tiny rivulets of bright red to mix with the soap bubbles on his skin, scaring him further.

But now, coming back into his room, his panic became somehow silenced by an eerie and foreboding calm. He could not place it, nor dispel it. And he made a move towards the bed slowly, taking a seat on the comforter. He bit his lip until he tasted blood on his tongue, but he was not surprised when the other boy failed to look at him even then.

For several long minutes he could not think to say a word, nor push together the fragments of his thoughts into a coherent stream. The silence was oddly and horrifyingly companionable, as if Yugi had not all but forced him or that Yami had failed to tear his skin open along his shoulders. He thought of how Yami had choked him mere minutes before and something in his gut wrenched.

He sighed quietly, tipping his head back to look at the bright blue of his ceiling. "What just happened?" he finally muttered.

"We fucked. It was nice."

Normally his dry response would have made him smile and shake his head. But now his stomach was so tight with disgust and horror that he could not bring himself to do more than turn to stare at him blankly.

"Yami, I'm serious. What just happened?"

Yami paused for a moment at the response. Then he turned his head, his fingers still picking at the blood under his nails. The flakes were a deep and hideous red, falling to the floor like the snow they'd stood beneath before they'd returned to his room to have sex. For a moment Yugi thought perhaps they were even as thick as those massive crystals, making his heart pound in his chest before his eyes snapped up to the other's once more.

Yami pulled his hands away to keep from having to see that look upon the other's face. It irritated him to the point of nearly snarling. He could  _give_ him a reason to show him such horror and disgust should he so desire. There was nothing to truly stop him from doing so.

"I do not know."

"You…don't know?"

Yami leaned forward from his spot in the desk chair, lip curling faintly at the right side. "Is that not what I just said to you?" he growled softly, voice low and slithering through the air like a snake about to strike. He drew in a deep breath, then exhaled hard and narrowed his eyes. "I lack the knowledge of which to share with you that which is going on. If I had an inkling of knowledge on this subject I would not be wasting my time wondering about it nor answering you with such a stupid response."

Yugi bit his lip and inhaled deeply. "Okay."

"Okay?" the deity snarled in a cold tone, eyes blazing for a brief second. His brows furrowed when the smaller boy blinked at him and tilted his head. They looked at each other and the silence grew easy and light between them once more.

"You don't need to be so upset all the time," Yugi mumbled with a shake of his head. He offered him a small, weak smile, and his insides twisted as Yami blinked slowly. "I know you're not happy with this situation and I'm not either, but you snap so easily and you don't need to. It's not okay what's going on. I just meant that we'll figure it out as we go along."

The other boy opened and closed his mouth and frowned deeply as he looked him over. "Oh…" He hesitated, turning away again and staring at the carpet. "My apologies."

"It doesn't matter."

What  _did_ matter was how they were supposed to go about fixing this mess. There had to be some kind of way to make Yami heal. Sex had seemed the most likely answer.

But obviously the results had been far less than satisfying. The god had not even seemed to know what was happening, only that it had ended and he had split his skin.

"It's fine."

Yami gave him a small confused, thoughtful look, and frowned at him faintly. He studied him for a long minute, then scowled. Why was it that this boy was never upset anymore? He'd been a lot less calm when they had first met. He'd snapped at him angrily, refused to acknowledge his existence unless he forced himself into his path. He'd punched him for sticking his hand down his pants against his wishes. He'd sneered at him stupidly when he'd told him he had to remain with him. And they'd butted heads at times.

But now Yugi was acting as if there was no reason for him to say anything in response when he dug into him about whatever it was he felt was good enough a topic to lash out about. Had he not almost killed him only an hour before?

And Yugi was still sitting there on the edge of the bed. He was smiling at him gently with his shoulders relaxed, his body more or less at ease. He had his head tilted slightly to the side, studying him as the deity bristled in front of him and snapped and gave him the cold shoulder and baited him angrily.

Was Yugi truly so far removed from his own instincts to flee that he did not find his anger intimidating any longer? Yami furrowed his brows. He had made him submit earlier, but that had been his own will suppressing Yugi's.

As a god, it was a simply task to do so. He had the very simple yet complex power to force his desires upon another being and push them into submission at his will. He could make a king kneel before him or a child kill their parent should he desire it. He'd always been aware of such a thing. And he'd always been powerful enough to do so without much issue.

But it had not been something he had thought himself capable of at the moment. And he had not thought for even a second that Yugi would be susceptible to such a thing. He'd thought he might be immune to it, if only for the fact that he was his keeper and the Puzzle was his weapon against him. He had assumed that the Item might save Yugi in some way or another.

But then…Yami had not been trying to do such a thing to him either.

It had happened by accident. He'd snapped and that had come to happen before he could think straight and consider what might come of it.

"Can I ask you something, Yami?"

He blinked, startled, and tilted his head slowly.

"Did you even…feel it?"

Yami hesitated. Then he moved to grit his teeth, grinding them loudly against each other when he shifted his bottom jaw forward. His canines poked out against his top lip for a single moment. Yugi saw a small bead of blood appear where Yami pressed his right canine further into his skin.

He felt that it might devastate the smaller teen to hear the answer.

But Yami had always believed in answering a question truthfully only when there was no room to maneuver away from it. And Yugi had asked him so directly that there was no way to truly pretend he did not understand what he was saying to him.

"No." He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. "I only felt the blood."

Yugi nodded slowly. And when Yami opened his eyes again, the color drained entirely from Yugi's face and the small teen looked away with a horrified, shaky expression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As the sequel, events in the story will allude to what happened in Behind You, though I don't know how often or from whose point of view. Bits of dialogue and thoughts and actions will be better explained throughout. You shouldn't have to reread Behind You to get the full gist of this story. There should be enough exposition to cushion and help the story be standalone.


	2. Chapter II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Yu-Gi-Oh!  
> Warning: Same as before; cursing varies from mild to excessive. Season 0 Yami is a bit more unhinged as he was in Behind You.  
> Note: There are various/copious mentions of blood, some graphic images of death, sensual moments and feelings, touches of violence/abuse, slight OOCness but it's due to stress (and it's mostly going to be from Yugi whose going to suffer pretty badly where Yami is involved and choices he makes in order to help Yami), slight touches of depression, possible triggers  
> Update Schedule: I'm going to try (again) for bi-weekly updates but it might become monthly  
> Apologies for the lateness of this update. I've been working mostly on Shadows That Bleed in order to wrap the story up as necessary for Part VI. I've also been working on Divine Sky's sequel and the latter parts of that series. And my work is considered essential so I'm splitting my time between several different stories and trying to get them all updated and/or completed (including four other multichapter stories that I am still working on getting outlined properly for writing later). But, enough excuses!  
> Enjoy the chapter!  
> If you see mistakes, feel free to point them out to me if you'd like.

Chapter II

Yugi couldn't stop tapping his pencil against the desk. It was the only thing rhythmic enough to comfort him. The music from the class video was blaring and it made his head throb. But his heart had begun to pick in speed. And bile was beginning to burn a path up the back of his throat. He felt dizzy, sick, and as the teacher continued talking about it everything, he simply wanted to flee.

The virus was tunneling through the immune system and towards the brain. The voice talking sa'd that symptoms sometimes varied. It had clarified that the amount of strands injected affected how fast it went. It had to get in the bloodstream or it was all but useless against the host.

But Yugi was relatively sure that went for any kind of disease or virus.

He still assumed that they were talking about rabies, however. There was only one disease he knew of that could vary so drastically in symptoms, the amount of time it could remain dormant, and kill in less than twelve days when it was showing.

But the point of the video was for each student to reach their own conclusions. They hadn't had a rabies incident in Japan in a long time, however, and so it almost seemed like a joke. And, in light of everything else that seemed to be going wrong for himself and Yami, he thought it couldn't be anything else.

The scene was narrated by a woman's raspy voice. She spoke of the white blood cells struggling to fight the disease. And, as he watched, he wondered if Yami even  _had_ white blood cells. If his body was still being created, what were the odds that he could produce them? Yugi was honestly surprised whenever it was he saw his blood was  _red_.

He flipped his pencil.

It was shaking in his grip.

Yami had become increasingly discontent and out of place after their conversation. He had seemingly withdrawn completely into himself. It was as if the entire situation had brought forth so much humiliation that it had smothered him. He had not truly faced Yugi again for the rest of the day. And when he moved, his body seemed unnaturally heavy and physically taxed, his spine stiff.

Yugi swore he'd heard his bones pop more than once throughout the day. But Yami had also seemed more tense.

And Yugi swore sometimes he felt Yami watching him, could see him focused on him from the corner of his eye, as if he expected him to pounce on his weakness. He was so tense, in fact, that more often than not, the smaller teen thought he might break his thin bones if he moved the wrong way.

Yugi had sat on the bed, scaring himself for hours with those thoughts. When he had laid down, they had pushed at his skull until he could no longer breathe evenly. He had stayed up for hours after he'd turned off the lights. The moonlight had just _barely_ given him the much needed knowledge that Yami was still breathing where he lay on the floor.

Yugi had spent over twenty minutes just watching his chest rise and fall. The movements were steady, jerking his shoulders from his position where he'd lay curled on his side. The blanket had initially looked completely still when he'd first focused on it. And Yugi had strained his eyes to the point that they  _burned_ in order to get any hint of satisfaction. Yami's movements were so few and far between in his sleep that Yugi had nearly leaped up more than once.

He had been prepared to race over and check on him sometime near three in the morning. He'd been watching, struggling to see it, when abruptly Yami had jerked awake. His eyes had snapped open, glittering in the darkness. For a split second he'd lay there, facing Yugi's direction but clearly blind to his concern. Then he had rolled over onto his belly, pushing himself into a seated position.

Yugi had continued watching. His eyes had been narrowed into slits for the sake of secrecy. And he'd nearly flinched, swallowing whimpers, more than once. Yami had at first seemed to choke, then rasp. And then he'd opened his mouth and gulped in air. And, when he'd shaken his head, Yugi could have sworn there was a bead of sweat on his cheek. It was only when he'd nearly sobbed that Yami had seemed to remember he was there.

His head had snapped in his direction, eyes sharp and glowing. And he'd stared at him in the darkness for a long minute and a half.

Then, slowly, he'd turned away. The deity had glanced more hesitantly around the room. But the claustrophobic feeling he'd gotten formerly did not seem to come over him. Instead he'd settled more firmly on his haunches. He had braced himself there, breathing in through his nose. His eyes had been half-closed, head tilted slightly to the side. His gaze had darkened drastically due to the shadows of his long lashes, face strained and pale. Then he had finally shifted his way again, drawing in a deep and noisy sigh that stuttered in his chest, and collapsed back into his pillow once more.

The movement had horrified Yugi. But Yami had rubbed his cheek against the pillow, forcing his face further into the soft fibers. And, within moments, he was still again, breathing only noticeable in the slight tremor of his shoulders.

Yugi fell asleep watching him. He'd been desperate to see that he was okay, to make sure he would see the light of the next day. But he hadn't been able to keep his eyes open after four in the morning. And he'd woken immediately thirty minutes later, eyes on Yami once more.

And then Yami had jumped violently when Yugi's alarm had gone off.

He was still so unfamiliar with it.

Yugi scribbled another answer on his worksheet. He was surprised he could write coherently. He was shaky and tired. And everything in this video seemed to make him ache even more.

He couldn't help but remember the way Yami's shoulders had popped. The noise had sounded like a gun going off. His jaw had clenched, his eyes bright with confusion. His fingers had been curled, knotted in the carpet fibers. He'd grounded himself using them. And then he'd blinked stupidly, struggling even as Yugi turned the alarm off.

From that moment, Yami had taken the seat at his desk. His body had been stiff, appearing smaller than it ever had. He'd flipped through a deck of standard playing cards, one elbow braced on the metal surface, the other draped across the cards rather carelessly.

Yugi had made a point of watching him around his morning routine. He poked his head out from around the corner of the bathroom door to spot him. He packed his bag slowly, moving close enough to brush against him when he reached for things on his desk. He used his peripheral vision to keep tabs on him as directly as he could when he was too close to look at him without catching his attention.

And he'd feigned ignorance when the deity had sneered, "You could be more inconspicuous" as Yugi'd plopped down on the bed with his breakfast.

"I have no idea what you're talking about" had come out around a mouthful of cereal. Yami had smirked, flipped another card, eyes amused, and it was clear he'd enjoyed the cheeky little retort. But they were both well aware, and Yugi's position of facing him completely around wolfing down his cereal did not help.

But, despite it all, he had not been able to do more than think of one horrifying possibility—Was Yami  _dying_?

It seemed impossible to him that anything else could be happening. There was no true explanation as to why he couldn't absorb Yugi's energy. He had always fondled him, giving him a hand job—in alleys, in his room—and it had worked. It was sexual energy that Yami required. He needed it because sex was the most strenuous task a body could naturally go through. It released immense rushes of endorphins and it was a spike of power for the deity.

He had always prospered from it formerly.

There was no reason why Yami was not healing now. He couldn't understand what was lacking now. The deity should have looked better rather than so much worse. And he should not have woken in the midst of the night to such strain on his lungs. He shouldn't have been struggling so hard just to breathe.

Yugi squeezed his eyes shut and ignored the droning voice of the video. His first impulse was to reach up and pull on his hair until his scalp stung. His second, more reasonable, was to chew on the end of his pencil aggressively. His third was to scream. Between the three of them, the chewing seemed the least disruptive.

What if he couldn't stop whatever it was going on?

What if his lack of understanding destroyed Yami?

He didn't know if he could live with himself if Yami was forced to continue suffering. But there was no way he could send him back. Yami had told him that more than once. And the one time Yugi had witnessed Yami touching the Puzzle, it had seemingly almost killed him. He did not know if he could even stop the  _Puzzle_ from killing Yami. He didn't understand enough. He was too inexperienced where the magic was involved.

He had, of course, gone over multiple things those sleepless nights, however. He had considered Yami playing a Shadow Game. But he did not know how to approach the subject. And he did not know if that would truly help. And what rules were there to doing so?

 _Were_ there rules?

Had any of Yami's victims known that they were playing a game for their lives?

Had  _Ushio_ known?

But then, in order to save him, was Yugi  _truly_ willing to allow the deity to go forth and kill?

His options were limited; there seemed no better choice. And, if it would heal him, Yugi thought he might be able to turn a blind eye to the death Yami might cause. The guilt of the thought burned in his gut. If it might save Yami somehow, could he  _really_ manage to turn a blind eye on such a thing?

It was a good cause—perhaps the best cause—but he didn't know.

His stomach churned now.

Ushio had stabbed Yami in the side. Was it somehow possible the former knife wound had not healed as well as they'd thought? When Yami had shown him after it was stitched, his skin had come together perfectly. It had looked almost as if nothing had ever happened beyond the strand of suture left in his flesh.

He felt dizzy, small, and incredibly weak now.

Was it possible it had somehow become infected?

Maybe Yugi had not cleaned it as well as he had thought formerly. Maybe, somehow, it was full of pus beneath the surface. Maybe it was gangrened under the skin. If the infection got into his bloodstream, it would be a slow and painful death, he was sure.

But he wasn't sure that explained his loss of body mass. His lean muscle had seemingly deteriorated. And he was not sure gangrene was capable of such a thing. And he did not know that it would explain away Yami's inability to absorb his energy. It did not explain why he was unable to experience the thing that he so often craved.

It could have explained his temper. But Yugi was not sure of that either.

When it came down to it, he was not an expert on infections or diseases of any kind. He would have to do a lot more research before he could say anything about it.

All he knew for sure was that something was  _wrong_.

And he needed to get it back  _under control_.

He almost wanted to check out some books, dig in and try to gain as much knowledge as possible. But the time it would take to do that—what if Yami needed him? And what if that medical knowledge did  _nothing_ for him? What if Yami proved to be as difficult in diagnosis as he was in understanding body language?

He had never shown him such emotion in those blatant displays as the texts described. Angling his body towards Yugi did not mean he wanted him to come closer. It meant he was stretching; it meant he was simply facing that direction. He could have his chin in his palm and play chess against him, completely aware of his strategy but bored out of his mind. He could snarl and it might be with endearing words. He could sneer and it might be playful. Yami was a creature of enigmatic features, contradictory in every way.

And textbooks on body language did  _nothing_ to explain that.

He had proven himself to be far more removed in human culture than Yugi was prepared for. He did not know how to decipher his moods. He had to try to read his eyes more than his expression. His face was a blank mask most often. And, if Yugi could not manage to see his eyes, then he was lost.

And, Yami was—as far as he knew—a god.

Did that make his illness otherworldly? If he was truly a divine being, that would mean something of that magnitude, would it not? Why would he suffer from the same diseases as regular people?

It was entirely too easy to focus on one tiny detail rather than the one necessary to heal him. If he wasn't human, Yugi didn't know he could truly rely on human means to save him. And Yami had made it clear more than once that he despised medication. Whenever Yugi offered him aspirin, Yami would snap at him that he did not want it. And, when he'd made the mistake of asking a second time, he'd threatened to rip his face off.

Yugi was not sure what it was that made him so hateful of it. Maybe he perceived the necessity of it as a weakness of some kind. Yugi didn't know. It could have been the fact that he was the one offering, for all he knew.

But, if he focused on the wrong thing, Yami would suffer for it. He had to be careful. Skimming articles would cause him to miss necessary articles. It was some kind of unholy catch-22. The cycle would never end.

His hesitation and all the time he spent reading or worrying could easily seal Yami's fate. The situation was entirely too fragile.  _Yami_ was too fragile. And then…what was he meant to do if Yami somehow died?

There were too many variables. Neither of them had enough information.

Yugi might die with him, for all they knew. And, if Yami died in agony, would Yugi as well? He already knew he had begun exhibiting mirror symptoms. Where Yami was ice cold to the touch, he broke out in a sweat. Where Yami struggled to breathe, Yugi felt dizzy and off balance. The symptoms almost fit with dehydration—confusion, dizziness, lack of understanding, becoming lightheaded…

He shuddered. His eyes opened, flicking to the screen. He tried to watch the video, but movement in the corner of his eye made his head turn. A note was being passed over to his desk. He raised a brow, frowning slightly. He tilted his head, looking it over. It was so small and inconspicuous. And he wished, for a moment, that his life could be so simple. It was so pristine and easy, with straight lines and crisp edges.

And, somehow, despite himself, he was reminded of Yami's teeth. They were straight, flawless. His canines were crisp and sharp. When he bared them in a grin, it was absolutely  _sinful_.

Yugi almost laughed at the thought. Then he rolled his eyes, glancing at the screen and then to their teacher. She was grading papers and ignoring them. She usually did; she had never deemed it necessary to pay them attention on video days as it was.

He reached over, putting his pencil down, and opened the paper. A small sense of dread filled him. The pit of his stomach seemed to swell and ache with it. It felt like a rock was forming somewhere in his throat. What if it was all a waste? What if Yami was fading away then and there? What if he was already gone? What would Yugi do then?

The Puzzle had taken eight years to complete. It had taken half of his soul and energy to form Yami's body. And, if he died, what would happen then? Would he die with him? Or would Yami simply disappear? Yugi doubted he'd be able to put the Puzzle together again…

He could barely sense him. Sometime during the week they'd had sex, he had lost the ability. He had not even questioned it. He had foolishly assumed he was losing that sense because Yami was in the house with him.

He felt so stupid now. He should have asked.

He should have  _risked_ Yami's anger and just questioned him about it.

It was so bad now that he could not calculate his proximity to the deity. The security blanket, of Yami's aura draped over him like a mist, telling him when Yami was near him, had gone away within the blink of an eye. It had shattered into nothingness.

He could not even feel his emotions. He had not fully recognized the displayed confusion and unhappiness he had experienced since their union the day before. He had not felt his suffering throughout the night. He had not experienced his frustration when he woke up and nothing had changed.

And, what was worse, he should have known. He had assumed before that it was simply his personal bubble, the one that left him feeling only half of what he should. He had thought  _that_ had kept him from experiencing what it was that Yami did. And now the red-eyed boy was suffering for his stupidity.

Now he was being proven wrong and shown just how foolish he was.

The sheet under his fingers held a simple note reading _Want to go to the arcade later_? Beneath it was a big smiley face and a tiny heart drawn next to it. He almost smiled, recognizing the handwriting immediately. But dread was pooling in his stomach and he felt as if his blood were burning in his veins.

But he still forced himself to smile—as halfhearted as it was—and turned to them. Mai and Joey were watching him intently. They flashed him quick grins, almost in unison. And his cousin batted her lashes at him playfully, his best friend offering two thumbs up and a small nod.

He would have agreed on any other occasion. But now he simply felt sick, guilty. His stomach churned and his heart ached.

He bit his lip, looking down. The paper was still so pristine and simple. It was jarring. Everything else in his life seemed to be tumbling down around him. But this little piece of paper was perfect. He drew in a deep breath, head spinning.

If Yami was really dying…

He shouldn't waste any time. He looked at the paper. And just staring at it now was wasting time. Considering going to the arcade was  _wasting time_. If he was not spending time helping the deity, then it was being  _wasted_.

He was  _completely_ wasting his time.

But how was he supposed to clear his head? How was he supposed to keep calm? If he didn't take a few minutes to relax, how was he supposed to deal with everything? If his attention remained focused solely on Yami at any given time, wasn't he more likely to miss something?

A tight, constricting knot formed in his throat. Relaxation didn't hold any merit for him at the moment. He was too scared and anxious regardless. In all reality, there was no reason to go with them.

 _Yami_ needed him. Yami needed  _his_ help.

 _Yami_ might  _die_ if he was not given his attention.

Yugi swallowed hard and shook his head. He folded the note and slid it under his papers. He couldn't do that. He had no idea what might happen in the meantime. If he wasn't there, Yami's condition might simply worsen. And then what would he do? He might waste away. And if he wasted away, wouldn't it kill him too?

He needed to find a way to fix this sooner rather than later. He had to do it. He just had to find the way. He had to figure out if there was something he could do to fix it. And, when he left school, he would need to devote himself to research.

Yet, somehow, as he tried to leave school, he felt himself snatched backwards. He struggled, panicking at first, but the grip was familiar. He relaxed slightly, sighing through his nose. But thankfully Joey and Mai did not hear him. He didn't want to explain how much he loathed the idea of going to the arcade so much at the moment.

He protested with a snarl at first, however. He tried to get away. But he couldn't pull away entirely. And his heart hurt. His cousin was so concerned. And Joey looked troubled even around his laughter. So Yugi stayed quiet when they made it to the arcade. He sank into a booth and scrunched his body as tightly as he could, wishing he could sink into the floor. He wished he could sneak away before either of them noticed.

Some small, stupid, pitiful part of him hoped Yami would pass by him if he stared out the window. He hoped against everything, every little grain and sense of reality. He wished with everything that Yami might somehow appear there. He didn't even care if anyone else noticed. He didn't care if it pissed Joey off. He didn't care if Mai asked about it. He didn't care at all.

He just wanted to see him. He just wanted to make sure he was okay.

His stomach churned.

If Yami just passed along in his line of sight, Yugi would be grateful. He didn't care if he turned around and snarled at him, even. He didn't care if he made a scene. Hell, he did not even care if the other boy punched him for being late in returning home.

He needed Yugi, after all. He could lash out as much as he wanted to and Yugi wouldn't give a damn. Whatever conversation Mai and Joey wanted to have could wait until  _after_ Yami was safe and healthy again.

"So, Yug," his best friend began. His voice was smooth and playful, but the undertone was somehow serious. Yet, it didn't have the strength to make Yugi turn his head. He didn't lift his eyes from the passersby. "We…kind of need to talk to you about something."

"I kind of figured," he said quietly. It was nicer than the " _Obviously_ " he wanted to sneer at him. He wanted to get away from there. He wanted to get up and run back to the house with a pathetic excuse that he had to go. But Yugi remained where he was. Causing a scene meant he'd have to explain. And he couldn't do that. And, finally, when he realized no one would offer him distraction and he surrendered hope that Yami would pass by that window, he turned to him. "What's up?"

For a moment his cousin was quiet. Joey twitched in his seat. They glanced at each other, debating. And, for a moment, Yugi felt dread pool in his stomach. They were trying to figure out who should take the lead. They were trying to figure out who he was more likely to speak to.

"It's…" Mai seemed to struggle for a moment. "It's about Yami."

His stomach lurched. He sat up straighter. He blinked and in his reflection, from his peripheral, he could see his eyes dilate. Did they know something? Could one of them somehow have an answer to their problem?

"What about him?" He was breathless with mounting distress.  _Could_ they know something? Had they noticed something he'd overlooked? But they didn't know anything. He hadn't told them that Yami wasn't exactly human. He'd never had reason to explain and—

"We both think," Joey said uncertainly, clearing his throat awkwardly. He drummed his fingers against the table and looked down. "That…maybe you shouldn't see him anymore, Yugi."

He blinked slowly. He felt like it took an hour to complete such a mundane task. He faltered, stomach knotting as his heart lurched.

And some cruel part of him wanted to feign deafness. He wanted to pretend he couldn't hear them. He wanted to get up and storm out. He wanted…

"What?" he finally asked, croaking. It was hard to breathe for a moment. He felt lightheaded and tired. His muscles felt worn and small. He could feel his heart skipping beats. " _Huh_?"

Joey faltered. Yugi looked devastated now, as if he had just said he'd killed his dog. He nearly cringed and flinched away. Yugi was staring at him as if he didn't understand what he had said to him. "He's…not a good guy."

As abruptly as he'd become crestfallen, so, too, did his anger come. Yugi bristled, voice a near snarl. "What exactly would you happen to know about him?" he snapped. Something was moving in his eyes. Joey didn't recognize it, but it was a shadow of some kind. He looked infuriated and tired, as if he wanted to reach over and smack him for the comment.

He was running through a million different thoughts and concepts in his mind.

And Joey was abruptly fearful that Yugi might flee for the door.

Slowly, as if summoned by that thought, Yugi reached up and grabbed at his hair. He had lowered his head, teeth clenched. And he was shaking.

Despair had made his body weak.

Horror made his breath tight.

They were here at this arcade. And Yami could have been dissipating from existence for all he knew.

Yugi dropped his hands as if they burned. He lay them across the table and turned his head. A little girl was carrying an ice cream cone. A little boy was chasing his dog as it pulled him down the street. A car passed a little slower, then picked up speed as the light turned green.

"I think it's pretty obvious that he's overbearing."

The statement startled him. Yugi froze in place. Then the words sank in without further camouflage, as if the sun were shining over immense shadows. He blinked and turned to stare at Joey in bewilderment. His breath was choked in his lungs. The blond was flustered, but he was trying to be sympathetic as well.

"You said it yourself, when we all talked about him that first time. You said he's extremely antisocial and gets angry easily."

Yugi felt his jaw tick. His brows drew together slowly. His lips tugged towards a snarl. His hand curled into a fist on the tabletop.

"You said that the two of you were going to try your hand at actually dating and he showed up at the arcade and said you  _had_ to talk to him for twenty minutes. The next thing we all know, you're telling us that you're  _really trying_ at a relationship and then you pretty much avoid us all for a  _month_."

Yugi blinked once, then twice in order to calm himself. He sat up slightly straighter, flattening his palm. Then he shook his head slowly. The implications his friend was making were clear in his head. They rung in his skull. He bore his teeth and breathed in hard.

If anyone was overbearing, it was him. By no stretch of the imagination did Yami truly have any bearing on anything beyond physical need and satisfaction. He wanted to stay alive. So he fucked him. And then, when that was done, he usually tried to leave.

It was  _Yugi_ who insisted he stay at home with him. It was  _Yugi_ who hid him away in his room like this. It was  _Yugi_ who had  _chosen_ to ditch them in favor of the red-eyed teen. It was  _Yugi_ who had practically locked him away for his eyes only.

But Joey didn't know that.

And Yugi couldn't tell him.

Because that was a secret he couldn't breathe of.

Yami could be hurt for it. Or he might try to kill Joey in retaliation. He was weak. He was scared. Yugi didn't know what he might do.

Yugi exhaled raggedly. He felt as if he had been punched in the gut. Now was when he lied and spun tales and convinced himself that he could still be a good person as he did it. He would tell half-truths and bold lies and he would mix the truth in them all and he would keep his secret. He  _had_ to keep that damn secret. And, if he suffered for it later, so be it.

"I was never avoiding you guys. I told you that I wanted to try a relationship with him. I just wanted the month to be something between us so that we could work on it. He never asked for that. I  _gave_ him that." He faltered. Why was it so hard to breathe? Panic gripped him. Was Yami suffocating? His lungs weren't properly formed. Was he wasting away and—? "He may be antisocial and hotheaded, but he would  _never_ hurt me. I told you all that before—"

No, why inflict pain when you could simply kill?

"Right. And that was right  _after_ he tried to take my  _head off_ in the alley," Joey scoffed. He shook his head and leveled him with an incredulous look. Yugi felt his cheeks heat, eyes widening. Mai had spun around to stare at Joey as if he had two heads. "And I don't believe for a second that he wasn't serious about doing it, either. I don't care what you say about that. He was  _ready_ to—"

"Wait a second.  _What_ happened?" Mai demanded frostily, speaking loudly to make Joey hear her over his own voice. Yugi slowly raised a brow; Joey hadn't told her? She turned to him then, violet eyes sharp and acidic with intensity. "When the hell did that happen?"

Joey refused to meet their eyes. The seconds passed and Yugi waited. But then he felt distress make his voice bitter and unimpressed as he finally hissed, "You brought Mai here…into this situation…without even telling her what happened? Way to go, Joey. What were you planning to do then, use my cousin as a way to make me listen to this  _bullshit_?"

Yugi couldn't figure out who he hated in this situation more—himself for his inability to care, or Joey for wasting his time like this.

"Yami isn't doing anything wrong. He isn't keeping me against my will. He's not holding me hostage in my room. He's not trying to cut me off from you guys."

Yugi turned to Mai now. He prayed against everything that she might see reason.

"I like him enough to want to spend time with him. It's not as if he's trying to make me ditch you guys. I just haven't brought him around you all because he's not all that comfortable around people and I…"

Yugi paused, pretending to consider his next words. He knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to leave and run home. But that would make it all the more suspicious. And he couldn't bring further complications into the situation. He needed to get back. He needed to see Yami…

Nothing would change that.

Nothing would change, either, that he cared for his friends dearly.

He loved his cousin and Joey.

But they didn't  _need_ him. They had no necessity of his being there.

He drew in a deep breath. He would borrow a page from Yami. He would weave the truth amidst the lies and further paint the picture. And he would leave them manipulated, twist until they were conditioned towards accepting his fibs.

"I just… I never knew if our relationship would work. So I didn't want to give him the chance to meet you guys officially when we might not even make it to the end of the month. It was stupid. And I'm so sorry." His cousin was staring at him with clear concern. He hoped he was showing her the right amount of earnest. His voice came out slightly quieter, smoother and full of nerves and despair. "But that's all it ever was. And, right now, I really need to get home. Grandpa needs a second set of hands at the shop. And my mom wanted help with errands. It's Tuesday, so it's one of our busiest days—"

He almost recoiled. His body was so tense he almost sprang backwards. The touch on his wrist was soft, delicate. And Yugi, so stupidly, hoped for a single second—against common knowledge and possibility—that it was Yami.

But the fingers were neither cold, nor were they long enough.

His breath seemed to shatter in his lungs. He almost withdrew his hand, dizzy. Her skin was so warm. Was he feverish? He wondered if she could feel how extremely, unnaturally warm he was. He wondered if she could feel the heat beneath his skin, deep in his blood.

His eyes stared blindly where their skin touched. There was a thin silver ring on the third finger. The engraving was minuscule in size, but stretched the length of it. He remembered the day her parents had gotten it for her. She'd been so excited. He'd laughed when she'd told him what it said. It was a fairytale rhyme, something about a princess.

And, for a moment, that was the only thought left in his head.

The ring was the only thing he saw.

And all he could recognize was that little piece of silver jewelry.

And, somehow, it was the most comforting thing in the world to him.

He blinked, then slowly raised his head.

Her eyes were wide, the purple of them dark with suspicion, but they were also kind and concerned. The sight made him almost bristle. The sympathy was unwanted; he didn't deserve it. And he wondered, flustered, staring back at her, if he had ever looked at Yami that same way.

Was that why he so often lashed out? Was that why his lips sometimes curled back into a snarl? Was that the reason he seemed to sneer whenever he tried to offer him any form of understanding? Was that the  _look he gave him_?

Was it?

How much of his presence sent Yami further into the spiral that he was already lingering on the edge of?

And did that kind of expression bring him more stress?

Did Yugi cause him such outrage and frustration?

Did all of that emotional distress hurt him?

He drew in a shaky breath. Something inside of him felt as if it might be breaking away. He felt as if something were digging into him, tunneling his organs out and leaving him hollow and torn apart.

"I just wanted to know if you were okay. I wanted to know that he wasn't doing anything to hurt you," Mai said softly. She sighed, then looked at Joey briefly with mild irritation. "I haven't seen you in a while, Yugi. And Joey is right…at least about how it goes hand in hand with the time that you two started dating. I just didn't want to…to find out later that he had been hurting you and I had the chance to stop him before it got that far."

He blinked at her, eyes widening.

Was that really their concern? Disappearing with someone they didn't know for a few days had led them to the conclusion that Yami was physically harming him? The thought made his skin crawl.

Joey was right, however. It had been a month. It had not simply been a few days. It was not a simple handful. It had been a month.  _A full month_.

And, in that time, he had not tried to contact any of them beyond responding to a few stray text messages. And he had barely answered calls for fear Yami might grow further annoyed. He'd kept his phone on vibrate. The ringtones set Yami on edge and Yugi had felt the residual pain from his ears ringing from the noise. He'd further adapted to only having it in his pocket rather than using it at night as he had so often done formerly. He didn't play games in the dark instead of going to bed. The light hurt Yami's eyes too much and the deity would always burrow under the covers and then snarl at him when he could not take it any longer.

In truth, Yugi had never even considered how out of character that was for him. He had abruptly cut them all off. He'd done it consciously, without even debating it for more than a moment. He'd decided if he was going to try to help Yami, it was going to be in every way he could. And that had included spending as much free time as he could with the deity rather than his friends.

Flustered, Yugi opened and closed his mouth, struggling for words. He had always answered texts. And he had always answered the phone. He had always told at least one of them when he wouldn't hang out with them after school or on the weekends. He had always been keen on being the least worrisome of their group.

And, yet, when Yami had come into the picture, it had changed everything.

It was only logical. They'd jumped to the same conclusion he would have. It looked like he'd been cut off from his friends entirely by an abusive monster. If it had ever happened to Mai, Yugi would have jumped to that conclusion. And he would have disregarded his pacifistic nature the moment he did. He'd have gone after her boyfriend. He'd have…

But, Yugi had been so concerned about stabilizing Yami that he had not cared either. Some part of him had always considered it. It was just the fact that his phone inflicted such pain in Yami that he'd disregarded it for so long. He'd pushed his family aside as well.

He'd stopped helping at the shop as often. He'd stopped finishing half of his chores.

The reprimand, as mild as it was, still stung, however. He felt stupid and small, childish beyond himself. He couldn't believe that he'd been so cruel as to dismiss them like that. Nor could he understand the idea that he'd assumed they wouldn't care.

The only time anyone had asked him beforehand had been when Tea had asked him if he was happier with Yami. She had, against her own better judgment, come about the question of whether or not he'd truly be okay. She had asked about what he had felt those few brief days they had been together, those few dates they'd entertained.

And Yugi had looked at her, said he wasn't sure, and left it at that. He hadn't wanted to hurt her by saying yes. And it was true. Part of him always felt better near Yami. It felt better to be around him than it did any of them at times. And he did not want to lead her on by saying no. But that was the truth too. He didn't think he could ever be completely happy with Yami. There was a part of him that was too far for Yugi to reach and time together had done nothing to alleviate it. He didn't want to tell her that he didn't know that he saw a future with Yami, but he had always pictured one with her.

And that had only since been followed by Tristan asking if he wanted to hang out after school. When he had declined, the brunet had asked, in a calm yet somehow suspicious voice, if he was going to spend time with Yami instead. When he had agreed, Tristan had nodded and told him he'd see him at school the next day.

Neither time had Yugi truly considered they were asking because they were  _worried_ for him. The concept that they were concerned about him had been a faraway one, if even existent in his thoughts.

"I'm sorry, Mai. I promise he won't ever hurt me." He forced his words to come out as confidently as he could. He hoped the expression on his face was something like a smile. But everything tasted sour and bitter on his skin. He couldn't help but feel frustration and hatred course through him. He would never be able to keep that promise. Yami would hurt him as much as he would like. He'd lash out physically and beat him half to death if he felt the desire. The impulse was immense and drastic for the deity. "He's really not as bad as he might seem. He's just a little stressed right now. And it was  _my_ choice to go and see him. He's not hurting me in any way. And I promise he's not overbearing or controlling or anything like that."

All things considered, Yami did not truly care. He did not give one shit one way or another. In retrospect, hindsight was as clear as ever; he was abruptly aware of the fact that Yami did not show interest in him more than was necessary to bed him. He had not blinked even once when Yugi became irate at his dismissals of conversation. He did not feign interest in small talk when Yugi woke in the mornings. He did not offer to help with his homework. He did not ask him to play games with him. He did not watch him from the corner of his eye as Yugi did him. He did not touch him in passing. He did not attempt to befriend him. He did not so much as acknowledge his presence in a room unless he was forced to.

He did not ask about his friends. He did not inquire about his family. He did not ask about grades. He did not inquire about classes. He didn't ask about school. He didn't inquire about activities. He did not ask about the arcade. And he never opened his mouth about food or drinks.

He did not care.

It was as simple as that.

Yami. Did. Not. Care.

The most he showed interest in was his physical wellbeing. Once, when Yugi had dropped a textbook on his foot, Yami had checked on him. It had been a mere question—a  _snicker_ , really—of "You okay, little game?" and nothing more. When he had affirmed he was fine, Yami had not shown him an ounce of acknowledgment beyond that.

He. Did. Not. Care.

Yami was immortal. He was a god.

Why  _should_ he care?

The thought only further soured his feelings. But he did not bother to stop himself.

Because now he recognized another reality altogether.

When he was well and healed, he  _still_ would not feign interest. He  _still_ would not pretend to care. Yami was not a creature to show someone what they wished of him. He was a god who gave one what he cared to share. He sneered when he was disappointed. He laughed at others' melancholy. He was not a dog. He would not do anything and everything in order to please others around him.

He was cold. He was aloof. And his interests were scattered. They were few and far between. None of them resided with Yugi himself. Yami did not want to know more about him because, with all considered, he did not  _need_ to. Yugi's existence would be shortened drastically. The god would exist separately from him one day. And when that happened, Yugi was sure he would kill him.

Yami was a creature that did not exist for the mundane purpose of normal life. He had no reason to worry or fret or care in the slightest. He just had to survive. And that meant nothing more than protecting him. If he was harmed, Yami would be the one to inflict retribution. If he was sneered at or teased unkindly, the deity would rip them open. And he'd destroy them immediately after.

He was not there to make friends of any kind.

He was not there to act as a doting lover to Yugi.

He was not there to pretend to care more than he did.

And beyond Yugi's physical being he didn't.

The deity did not care; he did not pretend otherwise.

Yugi had never before considered it until that moment. All that time they had spent together, he had attempted to coax Yami into sharing with him. The other boy had not bothered to ask him questions about himself. He had not once thought to question him or demand information. No personal details had been required from the taller boy.

And he realized, those reasons were justified to the god. He had a lack of care, sympathy or desire of communication. And all of it was absolutely  _justified_. And Yugi, for as much as he wished he could argue, had no right to truly question it.

"Okay."

She let go of him. Joey gaped at her. His eyes were wide as saucers. When he turned back to Yugi, he looked almost as if he might jump to his feet. But Yugi simply flashed Mai a grin. Then he turned and darted out the door. Joey called his name once, but it only egged him to run faster. He was racing for his house before he even got to the sidewalk.

He was panting and red-faced several minutes later. He bolted up the stairs and nearly stumbled. He swayed faintly. He almost tumbled backwards. He was exhausted. His ears rang. He'd ignored his grandpa's greeting. The horrible truth came over him.

There was something wrong. Something was wrong in the house. He blinked. It was almost insidious. It embraced his insides like claws. And then it curled through his mind, swelling with confusion.

He stiffened, shaking his head. Tremors crashed through him. His hands shook. The knob was cold. It rattled in his grip. His heart pounded painfully. His ears rang harder. He couldn't help but hope that he was wrong…

But a crushing defeat swept through him. It was nothing he'd ever encountered before. And he felt dizzy beneath it.

Yami was not there.

Yugi did not open the door. His hand was frozen, clammy. The metal was frigid, like winter frost. He relaxed his wrist. He dug his teeth into his cheek. He stepped back, swallowing thickly.

Immediately he thought of the park.

He could be there. He could be near the arcade. He could be in the alleyway. He could be the alleyway near the arcade or the one he'd murdered Ushio in…

His mind raced. Where was he more likely to go?

His body would not move. He struggled. He could not picture him in any of those places. Another hideous tremor swept through him. Then another and another crashed through him. It became a bombardment of them soon after, fine and delicate as they shook him.

He had not slipped away, had he? There was no way he could have, was there? He could not understand how he could have. Was it even possible that he would dissipate and Yugi remain?

He trembled hard enough that he swore his brain rattled within his ears. He would have recognized the moment Yami had disappeared, if he was capable of that—r-right? He would have known. He would have felt  _something inside of him_. Surely there was no way he could have passed and Yugi  _not know_!

"Yugi?"

He blinked, forcing himself to release the knob. For a moment he could not find the strength to. Then he finally, slowly, looked over his shoulder. "Oh, hey, Grandpa," he muttered.

 _Who were you expecting_? some part of him sneered.  _Surely you weren't expecting Yami._

He almost burst out laughing.

Was it just him? Or did he sound like he was choking on something?

"Are you all right? You ran into the house like a bat out of hell…"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

Yugi thought to throw the door open. Maybe he could pace and get a clue where Yami had wandered off to. Maybe if he kept moving, his head would clear somewhat. Maybe then he could turn around and find him. He wanted to flee more than he did anything else, however. The thoughts were too troubling. The idea of sorting through them left him winded. He felt sick and dizzy, his legs shaky, threatening to buckle at any moment.

He wanted to search for him.

But he wanted to lie down.

He wanted to curl up under the covers.

But he wanted to scream.

He wanted to fall asleep and never wake up.

But he wanted to run after the other boy.

Instead he turned to his grandfather completely. He raised his chin slightly as if in challenge. If there was any person he could think of to know the deity's whereabouts, it would have been him. He was tied to the Puzzle—he was the one who had to find him. He was the only one with ties to the deity altogether. Yami was tied to the Puzzle; it was what had dragged him there. They were both tied to the Puzzle; Yugi had put it together, it had dragged Yami to their realm.

Maybe if they both tried…

Yet the idea did not fully surface. So he did not bother to try focusing on it.

However, Sugoroku had known about Yami the moment he had completed the stupid Puzzle. He had known him to exist. He had asked Yugi in an abstract way if he existed yet. When he had said, "Have you noticed anything different about yourself?" he had meant Yami's birth. The elderly Motou had explained that his work on the Puzzle had lasted eight years of his current lifespan because it was necessary to summon Yami. It had been detrimental in order to give Yami his own form. He'd needed half of his  _soul_. The Puzzle had prevented its own completion, in order to draw the god to him.

It had given him a form through half of Yugi's very essence.

And now, despite everything, it seemed the elder might know more than Yugi did. He remembered hearing them on the phone before. He had called the hospital when his grandpa had not been home. He'd come back from a date with Tea and found the house empty. Yami had answered the phone instead, laughing and talking to Sugoroku at times. The conversation between them had been so easygoing and playful. And it _hurt._

Yami could not afford such ease around him. But he could snicker and smirk and joke with his grandfather. He could make something akin a friendship with him but could not possibly do the same with Yugi himself.

Yugi remembered his grandfather even saying that Yami had saved him. He had fallen off the ladder trying to reach something in the stock room. And Yami had called the ambulance for him.

He bore his teeth behind his lips. He struggled not to spit in frustration.

It was so  _irritating_! His grandfather was closer to Yami than Yugi could ever manage to be. He was always going to be closer to him than Yugi ever would. Yami couldn't afford to allow such a thing to happen.

There had to be something between them. There had to be some kind of mutual understanding blossoming between them. It was hesitant and small, but it was there. And it was something that overwhelmed him in mere thought.

He exhaled harshly.

"Do you know where Yami went?"

The words had an instantaneous effect. But it was nothing Yugi hoped for. His grandfather's eyes grew wide, the plum color of them shining with shock. He shook his head slowly, looking at him in bewilderment. And then he frowned openly just as Yugi felt a wave of frustration crash through him as well.

"I didn't even know he was nearby," Sugoroku admitted, his voice low with growing confusion. He furrowed his brows, eyes slightly darker with discomfort. Yugi blinked at him, his own expression darkening further. "I felt him when he came near the shop the first time we interacted. It was like a storm coming from miles ahead…"

Yugi remembered him saying that once. He'd said he could feel him from miles away, his approach overwhelming and stifling as he got closer.

"I haven't felt anything like that for a long time now," he said uncomfortably. "I believe the last time I felt it was about a week or two ago?"

Yugi cringed visibly. He barely suppressed the urge to cry out, his voice weak and small as he whispered, "Oh."

"Was he here?"

He wouldn't find any help from his grandpa, he realized. The thought made him bristle briefly. He ignored him, throwing open his door and chucking his backpack inside. He spun around. "I need to go out. Tell Mom I'll be back for dinner," he called as he dashed past him and down the stairs. He was breathing hard again, though now it had nothing to do with exertion.

Now he was just dizzy and tired and overwhelmed. Every part of him ached.

"If he doesn't want to be found, he won't be."

The words made him stop short. He spun around, eyes wide. His breathing became ragged once more. He wanted to snarl, but stopped short. He could see from his grandpa's face that he looked wild. He could tell just from the way he flinched faintly with wide, stunned eyes. Yugi scowled at him.

He knew that.

 _No one_ would find Yami if he did not want to be found.

If he so chose to hide away forever, then he would never be seen again.

If someone strayed close and he sought to leave, he would be gone before they caught sight of him.

No one could outdo the deity when self-preservation was called forth.

No one could make him talk if he did not care for it.

No one could make him appear if he did not want to.

Yugi knew that. He knew it better than anyone else. But he also was not afraid to challenge it in order to try to find him. He didn't care. He would try his hardest and if he failed, at least he would have that comfort afterward.

It would likely be in vain in the end. But he would still put in the necessary effort. He would not leave Yami to flounder so desperately as he seemed to now. There had to be some chance that he might help him. There had to be. He was the one who had put his Puzzle together and he had brought him there by mistake.

His health and safety were Yugi's responsibility. He had to do whatever was necessary to ensure it.

Yugi would protect him in any way he possibly could.

He would do all he could.

And perhaps Yami would never care for it. He'd snarl and sneer and argue. But Yugi would still try. He would still offer everything he had to fix this problem.

"I'm still going to try," he snarled.

* * *

If Yami had bothered to find his way to the park, he had deserted it long before Yugi arrived to search for him there. When he got there, no one was there. The grass clearing was unusually desolate. It was a surprising sight. Usually, even during winter, one could find at least a couple of visitors wandering about. Sometimes it would be a couple who were enjoying the cold weather together. Sometimes it was random straggler tourists. Others sometimes walked their dogs through the grass.

The coming spring meant more people should have been far more likely to come about. They should have found their way back to the park at some point. But so far it seemed as if no one had thought to but he himself.

Yugi felt sick with anxiety. His heart raced, ears roaring with noise, but it did not stop him. He searched for an hour. He walked amongst each of the small remaining trees. He walked around the lake thrice. He even neared the playground equipment just in case. He searched at the bus station on the corner. He checked the inside of the tunnel on the jungle gym set. He even looked around the swings for footsteps as if he might find some kind of trail. He wandered the length of the street and back and doubled back around more than once.

As childish as it was, he was convinced that he was there…

The arcade was devoid of him. He knew that before he even stepped inside for more than a second. But he still ducked past Mai and Joey and looked around and felt out the area as well he could. There was not a single trace to be found where the deity was concerned.

The only place left was the last he wanted to look. If he could have ignored its existence altogether, he would. He had not so much as  _drifted_ hear the alleyway where Ushio's corpse had been found that day. He did not want to remember the report. The pictures of the blood smeared along the walls still scared him. He did not want to remember the designs Yami had carved across his skin with nothing more than his nails. He did not want to picture the way his body had been so broken, sprawled in such an unholy, unnatural position. His throat had been slashed, his skull crushed almost into a sloppy red and white powder, and his ribs shattered into mere dust.

He trembled at the very thought of moving that way. But he also realized that it was the most likely of places the deity might go. In all reality, the park and arcade were least likely to herald the red-eyed teen. He knew that. Searching was actually nothing more than a waste of time, in truth. If there was ever a place that he would have gone were he in Yami's shoes, Yugi would choose the alley. It would have been a symbol—albeit a small one—of power.

He would be able to reminisce about the energy he'd gained there. He would remember and enjoy the carnage he'd wrought there. He would revel in the phantom touch he'd gained from being there in that spot again. And he would have been desperate to find another way to relive that sensation.

It was one of his proudest, after all…

He turned on his heel, the movement leaving him shaky and dizzy. He swallowed thickly. His eyes flickered to the treetops overhead. A childish fantasy sprang within his mind. Yami would be in one of the skeletal branches, watching him. He'd jump down as he had before and stalk over to him. There might be a kiss or there might be a simple snarl. He didn't know, in truth. But they were all bare, as they had been upon his first inspection. Nothing had changed in the slightest.

All that was different was just how much more disheartened he felt than usual.

It was something of a shock when he got to the alleyway.

For a single split second, he thought the walls would still be splattered in red. He had imagined it oozing from the bricks, as if the structure itself were bleeding hideously. He had thought the concrete to be sticky, stinking of metal and bruised flesh running red. He had thought the white tape to still leave an impression upon the ground. He thought the shape would still be there, haphazardly misshapen where it had traced the outline of his broken body. In his mind he still saw the yellow _Do not cross_ paper raised across the alley from one way to the other on both sides.

He had even imagined the dumpster to be tossed on its side, the blood splattered across the trash strewn across the concrete.

But the area had been cleaned meticulously. It had already been pressure-washed. He shivered and looked around himself. The color of the bricks was hideously faded, caked with dirt. The concrete was still disgusting, stained as if with gas or fuel like a parking deck floor. The alleyway so was still so  _tiny_. It was just long enough for someone to get lost in the dark for a few short minutes. It looked as hideous and cautionary as it always had.

He glanced down the length of it again. Broken glass glittered across one end. Sunlight glinted off the metal of a discarded beer can. Further along, more bottles and cans littered the ground. Someone had gone about their usual lazy way of littering in the small strip of a passageway. But, in the center of it, someone had gone about jokingly outlining where they had assumed Ushio's body to have been. Then he saw there was a small but noticeable insult written across the wall. It was in the exact spot that Ushio's skull had broken across its surface.

Yugi was frozen, staring. He shivered, the spell lost to him. The frigid air made his skin prickle painfully. But he did not hesitate further. His steps were cautious despite his knowledge of no one being around. The drinkers and teenagers would come around later in the night. There would be rowdiness and dares and yelling later, when the sun had dipped beyond the horizon again. He drew in a breath but it stank of staleness. Someone had dumped their drink at some point and the sun had only highlighted its stiffness. He hissed out a deep breath, then picked his way carefully further between the buildings.

He cast a glance over his shoulder. No one else was there. He was sure of that much. But he had been so hopeful. He had been  _so terribly hopeful_ that Yami might appear behind him. He would sneak up and lean over, perhaps hiss a scornful little " _Boo_ " in his ears and make him jump like a startled cat. He looked back and forth along the walls.

Wouldn't that be so easy? If Yami came and found him instead, wouldn't it be so amazingly easy? He nearly laughed. The deity would never do it.

Yami was nowhere nearby. Yet, somehow, he felt closer to him than he had in even _days_. The familiarity of it made him wish to remain there. And he was almost tempted to press into one of the walls and wait there. Perhaps he would reappear there. Perhaps he wouldn't though. And the latter stuck out to him more apparently.

But there was a cold, intense  _power_ which washed through the walls. It pushed and lapped and surged back. The air pulsed and danced and quivered. Then it pressed tightly, spread outward, and repeated itself. It was shivering and trembling and pulsing harder than ever. It was almost like a heartbeat. But it was erratic, dangerous and scornful upon his skin. Yami was not there, but his magic was.

He almost laughed. It was pleasurable as he glanced around. And it seemed, momentarily, comforting as it surged back towards him. It embraced his shoulders, snuggling against him. Then it pushed against him harder, leaving him cold as his bones frosted beneath his flesh. His breath seemed to come out in a thick, billowing puff. Anxiety pushed through his blood, cashing his heart to skip and flinch. His organs began to ache, then to pulse and thrum with energy as if in mirror of its fleeting grip. His stomach tossed, his heart in his throat.

Yami was gone from the house.

He could not find him anywhere.

The alley seemed only to harbor a painful reminder of his power. He could feel it in soft crackles of energy against his fingers like static electricity. And it lurched against his skin almost as if he were creating it himself. Then it pushed out in an exhale, its wholesome touch growing into a desperate emotional tide of which nearly knocked him to his knees. It was intense, powerful, and he wanted to sob as it swelled over him again.

A few feet inside of the pass, he forced himself to stop. The air was so frigid now, pulsing so softly but forcefully, that he thought for a moment he could hear it buzzing. It was not wrathful in its thrum, but soft and soothing, almost like a hummed lullaby. But he could think of nothing more than the way Yami would disappear so abruptly at times, how the shadows would separate with lightning, and the ionized air sounded much like this.

Yugi tilted his head, looking back and forth. There was a new instinct inside of him. It fluttered within his skull and pressed hard into his thoughts. The hairs on his arms began to rise to a bristle. The comfort of the residual energy was nothing compared to its touch as he searched the shaded area curiously.

For a moment he thought it best to turn and flee. Then, squaring his shoulders, he forced himself to remain in place. His stomach tossed. His head pounded faintly, the pain like rippling needle pricks in his skull. But he did not back away. He narrowed his eyes, glancing at the chalk outline on the ground. He shook his head slowly, eyes flickering further towards the wall.

In his dreams, Ushio had always been cast further to the right. The chalk outline was too straight as well. Ushio's corpse had been beaten and dragged and broken beyond repair. It had been arranged as if it had been dropped from the top of a neighboring building and had just somehow barely failed to explode upon impact.

He could still see him clearly in his mind's eye after so many night terrors. He may not have had the full experience of Yami's mind in his, but he had recognized where his dreams overlapped somehow with the other's various memories. And he knew the complete satisfaction and power which came with it.

Those memories were crystalline, preserved like a mosquito in amber. They wrapped around him in absolution. They were overpowering and great. He had woken many nights, that horrifying and painfully beautiful, deadly, image seared into his head. He'd sat upright, gasping and panting, and Yami had always been at his side. The deity had always been within reach had he simply tried. His eyes, those beautiful,  _stupid red eyes_ , were usually cold and glittering, boring into his with growing amusement.

Yugi had wondered the first time, when the other had smirked at him so openly gleeful, if he had been attempting to punish him. But Yami had been merely satisfied and proud more than anything else. The unnerved sensation that Yugi got from it was often backlash from the nightmares.

But sometimes Yami would sit at the desk instead, watching him. Others he might be at the end of the bed. Once he had been seated on the edge of his metal desk, legs dangling over the side and kicking them as lazily as a schoolboy might. But several times, Yugi had woken, panicked and rasping for air, and found him at his side. Those times he had been fast asleep. But those nights he would also sit up almost instantly, eyes half-opened but senses focused on him entirely. He would look at him for a few minutes, studying, and then finally lie back down.

Those times he would watch him. There was never anything malicious in his expression, however. And oftentimes, Yugi would settle back down, moving to snuggle into his side. The deity would grumble, nearly snarling low in his chest, hissing something about codependency, and then would fall back asleep. But Yugi had grown to recognize the look on his face whenever he woke during those nights.

Yami was always curious. He was not alarmed or upset or even surprised. He was simply curious. There was always a hint of bewilderment. But he had never truly spoken against it. In his expression there was always a question, one of which Yugi could not ignore.

He had been studying to see why he was reacting so negatively to memories.

The last night Yami had slept through the night beside him, he'd stayed awake longer. It had been almost thirty minutes. He'd been quiet, his mouth shut and his breathing even. And he'd had his eyes closed for the better part of it. But he'd opened them after a few minutes, turning to face him again.

And then he'd said, "You got the details wrong".

Yugi had laid there, eyes wide and horrified by the abrupt statement. He pointed it out as lazily as someone might have a ladybug landing on their hand. Yami smirked lopsidedly, his eyes glowing with absolute delight, and told him goodnight. He had lay back down for a long while, staring up at the ceiling, and waiting to see if perhaps Yami might continue. But the other teen had fallen fast asleep.

Now Yugi pictured Ushio's mammoth body again, clothes all but in tatters. The continuous kicks and tosses of his limbs and the way he'd slid across the concrete had all but destroyed the threads of fabric. They had hung loosely where they had survived at all. His body had been bleeding in so many places that Yugi—like much of the media—had assumed Yami had flayed him alive.

His entire skull had been so deformed from the incident that it had caved in along several areas. His nose had been dangling from a single piece of tissue. His eyes—one real, one fake from a former run-in with Yami—had been gouged out with what had been assumed to be a scalpel by media. It had not taken more than a second for Yugi to realize it had simply been the deity's nails, however. Ushio's cheeks had been scraped so fiercely that the left had been torn away entirely, nothing more than a gaping hole of red and white and missing teeth. They had found large and small fragments of enamel scattered the alley.

His legs had been shattered in multiples. His limbs had been disconnected at each joint. The media had assumed the body had been tossed off a nearby building. Yugi, however, knew Yami had simply thrown him onto his stomach, pressed his knee to his back, and  _pulled_ until they'd come apart from his torso. He had seen him doing so that first night he'd witnessed the two of them cross paths.

But, back then, he'd been able to talk him down from crushing his throat and killing him in front of him. Clearly his compromise had not lasted long after, however. And Yugi did not mind it now as he had before. Seeing as Yami was sick now, there was little he could hold against him any longer.

But Yami had killed him brutally, relentless in his punishment. He'd ripped Ushio's forcefully from the sockets, dangling by mere threads of cartilage and sinew. The skin that should have been littered with bruises along his torso had been completely stripped from the muscle. His shoulders had been broken from what had appeared to be a collision of some kind that they couldn't explain. His skull had hit the walls so many times that it had shattered upon impact in multiple places. So much of it had been left in fragments scattered around.

Yugi tossed his head in an attempt to dispel the image. His breathing was rough, uneven. His throat felt tight again. He screwed his eyes shut as tightly as he could. But his mind was racing and all he could think about was how much  _blood_ there had been.

The initial theory had been that Ushio was  _not_ the only to have been killed that day. There had been such an abundance of blood that reporters and investigators had assumed that it was more than one victim. But DNA analysis had broken this theory in half before their eyes. It was all simply Ushio's. If Yami had shed blood at any point, it had dissipated at one point or another. Or Yami had killed him with such ease that he had not been wounded at any point.

The latter was far more likely. Yami was volatile and nimble enough that Yugi would not be surprised in any way if that were the case.

They had even assumed it was some kind of animal attack. The brutality of it had caused so much speculation and fear that Yugi was amazed at times that any of them were brave enough to drift out of their homes. The animal theory had been debunked eventually, of course, because the attack pattern matched nothing they knew of. And it did not help that Domino City only truly had the occasional serow to deal with.

He frowned, opening his eyes again. He took a step back and shook his head. He would take the longer route home, he decided. There was no reason for him to bother with looking for Yami any longer. He would not find him.

The reality of it was cruel and cold but a part of him was also slightly relieved. And he felt terrible for that. But time apart—didn't that mean he got more time to think? Didn't that mean he could try to come up with a new strategy of some kind? Yugi was hesitant to be hopeful of this idea. But he tried all the same.

He slowed his steps after a few moments. And then he stopped short.

There was one more place he could think of.

There was some small chance in hell that Yami might be there. But it was still a chance. He might have gone to the hospital. He wouldn't have checked in or anything of that manner, but he might have  _gone_. He had been there before. And, if Yugi was hopeful of anything at that moment, it was that Yami might somehow be a creature of habit.

If he had gone to places he knew of, then the hospital was a chance that Yugi could not overlook.

When he had gone to the hospital last to visit Serenity last time, he'd happened to glance out the window. And Yami had been seated across the street on the roof of the building, legs dangling over the side. Yugi blinked now, picturing it perfectly, and his feet began to make a path towards the building before he could reconsider it.

He had looked so dark and powerful then. He had looked intense, dangerous. And his eyes had glowed with a beauty that was somehow hideous all the same. He had been so healthy then. He had been lean, strong muscle, even if he had been slumped and his position lazy and casual. He had even looked so relaxed that Yugi had desired, for a while, to be able to make him comfortable enough to mimic it. But Yami was so wired, full of predatory impulse and instinct, that when proximity was brought into question he could not function. The ability to relax had been something that Yugi had never been able to draw from him.

He was through the doors of the white-washed sterile building before he fully considered it. The nurses took a long look at him, as if they were startled by his appearance, but none of them said anything. It was only when he began to walk in the direction of the room that a nurse coming down the hall told him she was in the same room and asked him how he was. His heart was racing when he heard the words. It seemed—if only for a moment—that he could have found him there.

He nodded to her, mumbling something that he thought sounded vaguely like thanks and a response to her question, and then made his way there as he normally would.

The staff was so used to seeing him with Joey when he visited that they did not even blink twice. Since his grandfather was not there, they had no reason to assume he was going elsewhere. He had also heard a few of them giggling that they would make a cute couple, though her brother bristled and shot them dirty looks each time. And, on more than one occasion, Joey had pulled him aside to threaten to beat his ass if he thought it was safe to even _look_ at her in any way he deemed was beyond friendship. Yugi had never been interested in the brunette, but Joey had always been sure to make him  _well_ aware he had no chance of ever getting his blessing just on the principle that was Yugi was his best friend and Serenity his sister.

The small teen glanced around the room. Then he drifted inside, feeling as scattered as a leaf caught in the tug of a heavy breeze. He knew she was awake, even if she was simply lying there. She had begun to do that more often than not, he realized, and it had been a slow development. She'd been losing faith in her eyesight ever returning.

He blinked, frowning, and turned to look towards her.

She looked as if her will were broken. She had taken the gradual decay of her eyesight poorly. He had seen her suffer through most of it. And he had seen Joey react just as badly more than once. He had screamed, cursed, punching or kicking at walls, and even broken a desk at school when he had hurled it in a fit. Each time Yugi had stayed quiet, let him vent, and tried in some useless way to make him feel better.

But then, what else could he possibly do? It wasn't as if he knew anything about how to fix it. And it was not as if he had the ability to. If he had, he would have tried to do so long before then. It wasn't as if he had money for the operation they had mentioned to Joey. And Joey had no way of making that money, either, from what he understood.

And there was not much that Serenity could do in her hospital room as it was. If she turned on the television, she might be deaf to someone entering the room. And it was not as if the noise might offer her company. She had nothing to do in the hospital  _but_ lie there, staring or with her eyes closed and ignoring everything around her.

And, with her sight so far gone, he imagined the room seemed far more isolated. And it probably terrified her. The idea of it made him feel sick. He did not know how it was that he could adapt to something so traumatizing as this either. He relied so heavily on that sense, his sight his prime way of interacting with the world around him. His stomach curled and tossed. He was both sympathetic and weighed down by the dread of the possibility.

But then, was there not an easy fix for him? Yami would be able to show him the world through his eyes if it came to it. He had done it before, in the alleyway. In a split second between satisfaction and confusion, when he had turned his eyes onto Yugi, they had shared his vision. And his senses were so much stronger, so much keener, with such definition as to see the very particles of air. He could do it again, if something happened to him…

He nearly laughed at the thought. Yami would never be willing. He smothered the grin threatening to appear on his face. Yami would much more likely try to cut his own throat with his nails than do that.

But he did not think that there was much of anything he could have wanted to do if he was blind. Then again, there  _was_ always sex. The thought made him grin despite himself. If he was blind, having sex with Yami, he was pretty certain the deity would most likely want to kill him more than ever. He thought the idea alone warranted him smacking him at the very least. The deity's hatred of him made it even more ludicrous and he almost burst out laughing.

And, if he remembered right, it had always been something that stimulated girls more than it ever could guys.

Maybe that would have been something he could have done with Tea, but never Yami.

He snorted out loud. Serenity startled. He flushed, face falling immediately. He straightened his shoulders. "Hey, Serenity," he greeted in as soft and easy a tone as he could manage. But his muscles were tight with tension. And his breathing became uneasy seconds later.

Yet, it was not Yami's lack of presence which unnerved him now. It was some small fear inside of him that swelled up. What if she could see him more clearly today than she had been able to in  _months_?

He drew in a deep breath. Serenity had days where her vision was unusually keen, a sign that she would lose it altogether sooner rather than later. The muscles were trying to repair themselves and failing. And she got brief, small glimpses. They were few and far between, and when she blinked, he knew she often dispelled what little focus she had. He had never mentioned it. But he had seen it each time. Her face would fall, becoming heartbroken for a split second. And it always made him tremble.

"Yugi?"

Her voice was so much lighter than his. He blinked. Her natural voice was always so much more easygoing than anything he had ever tried to force into his own tone before. She blinked at him, her eyes startling him for a moment as he wandered closer.

If he had not known the color long before now, he would have assumed they were always this dull shade of grayish-hazel that greeted him there. But she appeared to be focused on him entirely, by some miracle, though she squinted and strained her eyes to track his movements as he grabbed a chair. He pulled it up beside the bed, taking a seat and watching her, for a moment feeling terrible that he could see her so well when she could not do the same to him.

"How are you today?"

It felt so false to ask her such a thing. He almost wished he could swallow his own tongue. His cheeks were flushed as he bit his lip. The words were somehow almost mocking to him. He pressed his tongue against the roof of his mouth in momentary frustration.

Serenity did not respond at first. He wondered if she was too startled and undone by the cruelty of his question. He ran his fingers through his hair, feeling like more of an asshole than he knew how to deal with.

She was staring at him, straining her eyes. But he could see that she was using her ears more than anything. She was listening to him rather than truly seeing him. As long as he made a noise, she could pinpoint where he was.

"I'm okay. They say my eyesight will be completely gone within the next six months," she admitted quietly. The frown that marred her beautiful face was deep and troubled. But she looked incredibly puzzled as well. Yugi felt oddly distressed as he realized it was not her own words or the diagnosis, but his presence that made her so.

He swallowed hard. What did she see? What had caused her to frown like that? He worried for a moment that she might say something. Would she tell him what was wrong with him at the moment? Could she see the worry on his face? Or did she know that he hadn't actually come there for her?

His stomach knotted. But she didn't speak. He wondered if it was his position. His shoulders were hunched and he already knew his eyes were distant. He'd felt so detached just walking to the hospital that it was impossible to pretend otherwise.

He looked so meek.

She had never truly applied that word to Yugi before.

He was small and quiet, and extremely kind to anyone who crossed his path. But never before had she considered him  _meek_. It troubled her now to think it, watching him closely and struggling to keep a clearer picture of him in her head.

She had known her brother to describe him as that once or twice, but that had been before they had become friends. And she had never seen him act like a meek person. And, more often than not, her brother even admitted that Yugi surprised him with some of the things he did and said. He had called him a spitfire, a firecracker, a little bomb, more than once. All of them were nicknames he used to describe her as well. It was a brotherly thing for him, and Yugi had taken her spot when she was not around…

She had heard about Yugi mouthing off to Ushio in order to defend Joey and Tristan, nearly getting himself beaten to death mere seconds later because of it. When it had happened, Joey had said he'd been amazed when Yugi had gotten up again. He'd said Yugi had swayed a little, gushing blood from various spots on his face, an eye swollen and his cheeks raw and red with bruises, then mumbled if they were okay. When they'd assured him they were, Yugi had groaned, dusted himself off a few times, and then limped off.

She remembered Joey laughing about Yugi saying he'd snuck out and needed to get home before someone noticed. He'd told her it was so funny because Yugi had taken an insane ass kicking and was clearly in a ton of pain, but he'd been more concerned about his family being worried than himself. And the next day at school he'd asked how they were before he'd even answered whether he was okay.

He had even stood up to one of their teachers when she had gone off on Tea during class. The incident had resolved itself the moment he opened his mouth to point out that she was not supposed to treat someone like that. He'd threatened to go above her head and report it and no one had said a word about it since. No one even mentioned it in passing.

Joey had even mentioned Yugi standing up for a new transfer student when one of the bullies tried to steal his lunch money. He'd said he'd almost gotten his ass kicked for it but had stood his ground anyways. It had only been the fact that Joey and Tristan had been coming down the hall at that moment that had saved him.

What she had heard most recently, however, was something entirely different. She swallowed hard, licking her lips and preparing herself.

"So, uh…how is Yami?"

Yugi jerked back so violently that she jumped. His mouth opened and closed. Then he gaped at her. But his shift of movement was a blur in her eyes; it was mostly instinct that told her he was gaping at her. He was stiff in front of her, staring. He flushed red; she could see that much even with her blurry vision. But he was still clearly focused on her words more than anything else. His eyes grew wider, blue-violet splotches against a reddened face, and his voice came out low and strained. He was choking when he asked, "W-who told you about Yami?"

She hesitated, considering ignoring the question. He looked so horrified that she even knew. His reaction was something she never would have expected from him. And what if he got upset? But he was staring at her blankly now, the shock fading from his features. He was no longer red-faced, but he shifted in his seat and she could see that he was fidgeting.

"Joey was complaining about someone named Yami," she finally mumbled. She remembered all too well how furious he had been that day. For whatever reason, he had come about blaming him for each and everything that was wrong with the day. "When I asked who that was, he said he was your…boyfriend."

Yugi felt as if his mouth had grown dry enough to compete with the Sahara desert. He grimaced, ducking his head. Her voice was so soft, almost broken. He closed his eyes, rubbing the back of his head and trying to find the words. "Oh…" He couldn't think of anything else to say, opening and closing his mouth. But his eyes grew narrow as frustration began to nip at his insides.

What business did Joey have telling her about  _Yami_? He knew he wouldn't have told her outright unless he was ranting and she asked. He would never have spoken about Yami unless he was complaining about something or other. Yami was not someone he mentioned unless he was angry. Even when he brought him up to Yugi, it sounded as if he were chewing on nails when the name came out of his mouth.

But how dare he tell her when Yugi should have been the one to do it. Why should he have done it when it should have been Yugi to do it _himself_? He knew that Joey probably had said it without a second thought and hadn't even considered her feelings for him, but it was still cruel. To make matters worse, now as he admitted the words to her, it would merely seem as if he had been hiding Yami's existence from her altogether.

It was a selfish thought to have, he knew, but it was also infuriating.

It wasn't Joey's right to tell her his business like that. And he knew he'd overlooked the devastation she'd felt as well, because he was far too hotheaded. He tended to get so mad he overlooked things like that. It made it almost impossible to reach him when he was truly upset.

He huffed; Mai would have a lot of work on her hands.

If he had been there—or even Mai—the opportunity would have been present for soothing her pain somewhat. He knew she had to have been hurt immensely due to the announcement. She'd been the last to find out since they did not see her every day. And the fact had been that she'd been in love with him for almost the full year that they'd known each other. And no doubt it was awkward as well. He'd never given even the smallest indication towards being gay and yet here he was, screwing around with another boy.

No doubt she was not sure what to do or say about this. It didn't matter how she reacted, however. Nothing would change whether she said anything or not.

But he was not sure he cared enough to explain, either. All of the sudden he was gay. That was how all of them saw it; hell, even  _he_ saw it that way at times. But then, did gay truly apply? He wasn't attracted to other guys. He was attracted to Yami. And he had a feeling it all had to do with his tie to the Puzzle and subsequently to Yugi. Yami was the only guy he had ever looked at and thought,  _Hey, let's bone him_. And that was only after all of the fighting and finally just the feeling that he  _had_ to.

That wasn't to say it was a burden. It definitely beat jacking off any day of the week. Hearing Yami hiss or moan in his ear or feeling his claws running along his back or the way his teeth nipped along his neck and jaw was enough to put the videos to shame altogether. And his voice when it was husky and laden with sex was enough to make his knees weak. They'd only done it a couple of times, but when Yami became comfortable with him and let go even a little, it was like being in the eye of a storm.

It still made it hard, however. The truth was, Yugi couldn't quite admit to himself that he might have turned around and declared himself attracted to Yami in any other way. He doubted that it would have happened any other way. Or so he tried to convince himself, anyways. There was some part of him that felt too deeply entwined with him to truly argue with.

But he also thought, if Yami were a simple human, he would have been a sociopath.

Yugi nearly grinned.

Then he swallowed his amusement.

He shouldn't have been making jokes right now.

He shook his head. It had been a last ditch effort to find him here. And now he felt stupid—utterly, irreparably  _stupid_ for ever having thought he might be there. But more than ever, the stupidity became shameful. Now he was forced to talk to her late— _too_ late—about Yami. And it was painful. He wished with everything in him that he had  _some way_ to soften the blow. He hoped Mai had been there with Joey when he'd been ranting. She would have known what to do.

But the way she'd said the words told him enough. Joey had simply blurted the words out when she'd asked. There had been no cushioning of the blow.

He was not sure that any attempts to comfort her would have panned out, however. She had been crushing on him for a year now. And he had known. He'd tried his hardest not to draw too much attention to it. He had been nice to her, treating her as he would any other friend. But, somewhere in the back of his mind, it had always been a struggle. He had been trying his damnedest to find some way to tell her she was not the girl he was interested in. He'd been working to find a way to tell her she was not the one for him. He'd wanted to find the best way to tell her she would only ever be a friend. He had been struggling for over four months now.

He'd thought to get a moment alone with her more than once. When Joey had been off flirting with the nurse or took a call from their mom or—or something or other, he had considered it. He had wanted to tell her, as gently as possible, that he was flattered, but he would not date her. He would have said something about wanting to remain friends. It would have been more painful had she cried, but he would have still tried.

But each chance had blown up in his face. He would see her expression, how hopeful she was, how happy she was that he was there. And it would crush him. He couldn't handle the responsibility of hurting her. Unrequited crushes were hard. She had been caught on him for a year.

He couldn't do it.

Each time he'd tried, he'd been unable. He'd shied away.

And then, to add insult to injury, the nurses made jokes. They giggled about how he was her first love. And he would die a little inside each time he heard them. And now, after hearing the hollow ache in her voice, he couldn't help but feel there was more truth to that teasing than he had ever considered.

"I…"

He fell silent again, hesitating for a long handful of seconds. Was he really meant to apologize? He had done nothing wrong. The fact was that he had never been interested in her. And if he had never been interested, was that really something he could apologize for? It was not as if someone could control their crush, right?

He blinked, opening and closing his mouth. He was sorry. He hadn't wanted her to go through something like this. It hurt to see her like this. It hurt to know that she was so sad because of him. But he could not feel bad for lacking the ability to return her feelings. They were good friends.

They would be even  _better_ friends later in life.

But he did not know how to phrase those words in a gentle way. And his mouth was growing dry, the words bitter and harsh on his tongue. If he opened his mouth and said he was sorry, he was sure it would come out much nastier than he ever wished it to.

"Serenity, it…"

"It's okay."

But it wasn't. She sounded utterly exhausted, incredibly hurt. But he had no words for her. There was nothing that could truly soothe her pain. And what was there he was supposed to apologize for? He had not led her on. He had simply been nice to her, as he was everyone else. And she had known about his crush on Tea that whole time as well…

But still, he found himself bowing his head. He couldn't look at her any longer.

"Will you…tell me what he's like?"

Yugi bit his lip, chewing his cheek for a moment longer. Then he shook his head, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair. She was a lot braver than him. If it was Tea admitting to having a boyfriend and she had finally come around to telling him, he wouldn't have been able to ask her that. Then again, he would not have wanted to know either. It seemed almost masochistic as well, as if he would have been punishing himself with the demand of knowing what it was that he had that Yugi didn't.

But it was also clear that she was asking for his sake. It was not curiosity. It was because she wanted to give him a chance to talk about Yami free of judgment. She was too far out of the loop to know more than the complaints her brother had issued.

Her strength cowed him. She was asking him that, while struggling to find the best way to deal with her growing blindness. How she did not succumb to the stress of the situation was beyond him.

Yugi hesitated for what felt like hours. What was Yami like? Should he tell her the good or the bad? He was sure Joey had painted him out to be some kind of devil. Yugi tilted his head slightly, nearly smirking. He was though, wasn't he?

He was vicious. He was rude. He was threatening. He was murderous. He was angry. He loathed the only person in the world who could help him. He was not beyond blackmail.

And he could swallow an entire room by mere presence alone.

He was unpredictable.

He lashed out without warning.

He was unreadable.

He was dangerous.

But he was also passionate. He was a soothing balm after the stress of school. He could  _be_ friendly when it benefited him. He was easier to understand than his friends. He did not hide his motivations. He loved to play games. He was funny because he lacked a filter when he spoke. His sarcasm was enough to put a tear in someone's eyes. And he tended to listen, even if he feigned otherwise.

He was willing to take the brunt when things went wrong.

He was loyal to him.

He was often levelheaded until he could no longer be.

He was easy to be around for the most part.

He was protective.

Yugi frowned, biting his lip until it bled. The flesh throbbed painfully for a moment. "He…isn't…like anyone else," he finally said, voice quiet and soft. He tasted those words on his tongue, feeling embittered by the lack of answer. Then he closed his eyes tightly. What was there truly to say?

Should he tell her that when he smiled, he captivated? That his smirk put the devil to shame? That his aura was magnetic? That he could pull someone to him just as easily as he could push them away?

Half-truths felt like a blow to their friendship. But revealing anything beyond that felt like he was voluntarily betraying Yami. And hadn't he done enough of that to him as it was? It seemed every other thing he did was one big mistake, one huge betrayal which further wounded them.

He sighed softly, leaning forward. He propped his elbows on his knees, trying to think of something more to say. He stared at the marbled tiles, scratching his cheek for a moment. "He's stubborn, picky, annoying, the most intelligent person I know. He's antisocial to the core, an introvert, and he likes to pick fights instead of having actual conversations with someone." He smiled slightly now. "He likes games, he's passionate, but he fights so often that sometimes it's impossible to get to know him. And I think he sometimes just burns himself out that way."

The silence between them was strained and cold.

"What does he look like?"

Yugi faltered for a moment. His tongue felt glued to the roof of his mouth. "Didn't Joey tell you?" he finally mumbled.

Her expression was unreadable. But the pause was just long enough to tell him Joey had, but now she was asking him instead. She wanted to see him in her head, and Joey would never have given her the details she so desperately craved. He drew in a deep breath, exhaling softly. What was the best way to describe a god trapped in a human body formed from half of his soul?

Yugi almost laughed, bitter and patronizing, but swallowed it down again. "He looks a lot like me. Um…when Tristan and Joey first met him, Tristan actually thought he was my twin," he mumbled. He chewed the inside of his left cheek. The blood was harsh and metallic on his tongue. He narrowed his eyes. "But he's taller than me by an inch or two. His hair is a lot wilder than mine. His is a little longer, but it's black with red tips. His bangs are the same shade of yellow as mine. He has…more bangs than me and they're a lot longer. His jaw is sharper than mine, so his bangs frame it a bit more than mine do."

He could see her working that detail into the image she'd already created from Joey's words formerly. She was making the best effort she could to put together a puzzle he suddenly wondered if she had any right to see the face of. He drew in another breath, looking away.

"He has streaks as wild as lightning bolts, so they shoot upwards in the center of his hair and then he has two others right behind his bangs just a little above his ears. His teeth are perfectly white and his lips are a bit of a creamier shade than mine. His skin is a beautiful shade that looks almost gold in color, like beach sand." Did she know what the beach looked like? Had she ever been to the beach before? His cheeks flushed. Should he go back and change that? Maybe there was another way to describe it… "He smirks more than he smiles. And when he does, he tips his head slightly to the right and curls the left side of his mouth a little further than his right. He has a thinner collarbone which makes it look sharper under his skin and it's more noticeable when he has a choker on. He's got a slightly thinner body than me. His fingers are longer, his nails are smooth and his nails are sharp. His lashes are as long and thick as mine, but his eyes are more narrow and exotic so…"

When he fell quiet again, he found her peering at him pointedly. She was hesitating, trying to find some kind of words to ask. But then she faltered, clearly troubled by how to word it. So Yugi took the plunge, knowing what she meant to ask.

"Red. His eyes are red."

She blinked, visibly startled. Her mouth opened into a small "o" shape, as if she could not truly picture someone with such an eye color. Or, perhaps, it was the idea that he looked like Yugi but had that color to his eyes. Maybe that was what threw her off…

He shivered, shaking his head. He dug his nails into his cheeks and struggled to think straight. How was he supposed to explain his eyes in a way that would make the picture clearer to her?

"They are… Honestly, Serenity, they're a million different shades of red. And his pupils are the  _darkest_ things you will  _ever_ see in your life. They almost seem to absorb all of the light in the room and it looks really strange and different…beautiful, really. That's why I said exotic. Because they're so strange, but they're also really, really beautiful too, and I…I really wish you could see them sometime."

The silence became so taut Yugi began to think of it as a noose around his neck. It pulled and stretched, reforming itself in order to close his neck at any moment. He reached up to tug on his choker, flinching. His eyes fell to the floor. His lungs felt as if they had been crushed, swollen with disuse.

"Do you love him?"

He breathed in roughly to keep from running.

"No." She was waiting to hear more, he realized belatedly, and he closed his eyes tightly. He could give her this. He could answer her. He hadn't told her about Yami himself. The least he could do was entertain her question. "Not yet. But I don't know him well enough for that yet."

 _And I might never,_ he thought with a sick feeling.  _I might never know him well enough to love him. I might never grow to love him simply because he is who he is and I am who I am. We may never grow to care for each other more than the matter of survival that keeps us together now._

The thought was lonely and cold, leaving him breathless. Desperation clawed at his throat. Maybe if he changed the words…

But there was truly no telling. He had admitted it to himself long before they had even slept together the first time. He could very well never grow to love the red-eyed teen. But their bond was fierce if nothing else. It might not have harbored a romantic element of any variety, but at the very least he felt  _something_.

A loveless relationship had never been something he had pictured for himself before. But he had grown to understand it. He understood it more than ever where it applied to himself and Yami and he had even put it into explanation for Tea. And, when he had, he'd begun to wonder if perhaps it was the best thing for them both.

But, in truth, he had no idea the depth of emotion Yami could truly experience. What was the spectrum, exactly? He knew he felt anger and hatred; he had that in spades. Yugi had seen it in spades. He knew he could be surprised; his own words and actions had stirred such responses from him. Once or twice Yami had displayed anxiety. And once, he thought he had even seen him struggling with guilt.

In the grand scheme of things, he did not think he had ever seen more than those emotions displayed on his face before. And he had only felt these when he had interacted with Yugi himself.

But then…who was to say that he couldn't eventually come to learn to feel love?

But then…who was to say that Yugi would even want that?

What would prevent them from being so secure in their relationship, loveless and borne of desperation and need, that they would ever want that? Perhaps love was not made for the two of them. It would not have surprised him if that was the case…

Yugi shook his head sharply, banishing that line of thoughts. "What did Joey tell you about us anyways?" he finally asked. He looked at her now. His shoulders rose in a bristle before he could stop himself, his spine tightening in preparation for a fight he was not ready for. He had no idea if he really wanted to hear what Joey had said about Yami. But he needed to have some kind of idea about it. "I know he isn't exactly  _thrilled_ with Yami."

"He said…that Yami is no one he wants you around. He said he was…nasty and violent when they first met. And he thinks that he's abusing you." She was quiet for a moment. He blinked, swearing she was focused on him completely again. He thought she could see through him, into him, because he recognized the sudden clarity in her eyes now. The thought was almost terrifying to him, but he swallowed away the anxiety in an effort to keep his senses long enough to hear the rest of her words. "But you don't talk about him like he's doing that to you. You kind of talk about him like…he's just there. Like he's important enough that you care, but not that he's taking over your life. You actually…you sound almost indifferent, Yugi."

 _Did_ he? Yugi blinked, watching her. He swore she was searching his face, trying to find something hidden there. He settled into the backrest of his chair, uncomfortable and slightly unnerved. Was he truly indifferent? He didn't think so—not at all, in truth.

He was losing his mind. Yami was not nearby and he was losing it. He had even come to the hospital to find him. He'd visited Ushio's murder site before that. And he had fought with her brother just hours ago in order to get back to the house even when he knew Yami would not be there.

And he was  _still_ consumed by the idea he might be disappearing somewhere, alone and probably horrified or panicked. Common sense still said Yugi should know should it happen. He would feel it. He knew that instinctively. But it did nothing to calm him. He longed for that familiar pulse and bond between them. He wanted it to be as powerful as it had been before.

Was that indifference?

Or was she just hopeful that was what he she'd heard in his voice?

But, he realized slowly, his voice had grown unusually flat when he'd told her he did not love him. Perhaps that was where she had come to the conclusion. Indifference was hardly what he felt, however. He would have thought anyone hearing his words in such a tone would have come upon a similar assumption.

But he knew for a fact he hadn't sounded similar when he'd described him to her. He had felt every word as it had left his mouth, warm and almost gentle as they fell from his tongue. He had even become wistful towards the end, when he had set upon describing his eyes. He knew that. He had known the moment he had thought to open his mouth.

"I just don't see the big point in Joey freaking out," he said casually. He shrugged, feeling as if she were scrutinizing him. "He doesn't need to worry about me so much. I can take care of myself. I have been for sixteen years, after all. And Yami is hardly abusive or overbearing like he thinks."

"He said you chose him over everyone else."

"I didn't," he murmured. His voice was rapidly becoming frustrated. But  _hadn't_  he? He had wanted to help him more than he had desired anything else in his life. And he'd pushed them all aside for that single purpose.

But it was also a matter of survival for the other boy. Yami needed him around. He needed his energy. Exposure helped for small pockets of time, but it could not sustain him. It could never be enough for the red-eyed teen. And it definitely would not help him to recover now.

If sex was not helping him, then proximity could never do so.

"I wanted to spend a little time with him since it's a  _relationship_ and Yami is still tentative about it. I just wanted to spend some time with him easing him into it instead of constantly bouncing back and forth between my friends and him for the time being. Yami isn't all that social. And he wasn't thrilled by the idea of us having an actual relationship. But I talked him into it. And I plan to stick it out as long as I possibly can."

But what was the line he was meant to draw? When was something  _too much_? Was it when Yami hit him?

He had already done that numerous times. He lashed out violently, hard and fast and instinctively. He had even tried to kill him while he slept. He had punched him once or twice. He had thrown him into a wall. He had choked him. Hell, just the day before he had attacked him in his room.

Yugi blinked.

He had killed people. And Yugi had witnessed him attempt to kill Ushio that day. He'd suffered those nightmares of watching Yami go through with it. He had listened to the numerous threats Yami made towards his friends and family.

He blinked again.

Yami was easily subdued more often than not, however. If he spoke the right words, or reacted in the most positive manner he could, Yami would relax. He would pull back from that anger and hatred. It didn't last forever, but it held for a small while. He would shift it backwards. He would reign it in long enough to hold conversation. Sometimes he played games with him. He could maintain his attitude and hold his frustration at bay at times.

He knew his temper. And he held it away more often than not.

But he was wavering now. Yami was unstable. He was angry. He was hurt. He lashed out more violently than ever. He grew impatient and further upset. And neither of them had a solution of any kind.

A Shadow Game could only be declared when Yugi himself was hurt. If a bully touched him, they were a possible victim. They became a part of Yami's domain. And, despite the fear he felt for Yami, Yugi was not looking for someone to be killed. He did not want someone to be hurt in any manner. But…it gave Yami energy. And it was a valid reason to turn a blind eye upon realization should it become necessary, wasn't it?

He wondered, suddenly, if the other boy could hear him. He really wished he might be able to. If he could, maybe he would be more assured he would not harm him as Yami was so often afraid. Maybe then he could relax, if only minutely, and they could start to find an easier balance to the whole situation.

"Oh."

He grimaced at her dismayed expression. But he didn't know how to console her. Instead he turned towards the window, looking out of it and wondering if perhaps he might see him across the street. He imagined him seated there atop the building, kicking his legs and staring down at the passersby beneath him. But the spot was just as barren as he knew it would be somewhere deep inside of him, and with it his last hint of hope began to dissipate completely.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll answer any questions or reply to any comments if someone wants to leave me one. If you would not like a reply just put an asterisk (*) in it so that I'll know not to. Anyways, thanks for the read~


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